December 23, 2009

I apologize for my absence. I have been...occupied for the past couple weeks. I also apologize in advance for what promises to be a rather lengthy entry. However, I hope that by the end of it, you will be better informed about why I abandoned cyberspace for so long. It all began on…

Thursday, December 10.

I had been thinking non-stop about my encounter with The Dark Man. I didn’t know what to think. Could I kill a human being again? Why did he want me to? What was his motivation? Was he simply trying to control me? All of these thoughts plagued my mind.

After a couple days of rabbits and cold blood drained from ground beef, I decided that I needed it. I needed that rush. That feeling of power. At that point, I almost didn’t care if it was wrong or not. Human blood was like a drug and I was already hopelessly addicted.

I started thinking about the most obvious place to find vile, disgusting and depraved individuals to quench my thirst. The most obvious, of course, was prison. But that seemed a bit out of reach. Even with my powers I knew it would be disastrous. And then one day, I came upon an article about sex predators. It hit me like a ton of bricks: the national sex offender registry.

What could be lower than rapists and pedophiles? I immediately searched the database and came up with hundreds (literally) of offenders in my area of Austin.

I chose a person with the most vicious crime and began to research their history, their case and their current whereabouts. My soon to be meal was a child rapist by the name of Leopold (creepy, right?). I dove into research and spent the entire night finding out as much information as I possibly could.

Friday, December 11.

I awoke around 8pm on Friday and looked around my room. It had become a disgusting mess. I spent the majority of my team indoors and my room definitely was showing the signs. I began to clean and as I was placing dirty clothes in the hamper, I came across my cell phone.

I had pretty much forgotten about it over the past month. I was a nocturnal creature now and all the people I had previously talked on the phone with were still living day-side. I flipped it open and amazingly, it still had a little battery life left. I had 20 missed calls. I pushed the voicemail and sat down at my desk to take down messages.

After five minutes of listening to messages, it became pretty apparent that I need not take down any messages. All but an assorted few were from one person: Ben.

The first message went something like this: “Hello, this is Ben. We met downtown last night. I have been thinking about you non-stop. I have never felt this way about a guy before. Please call me.”

The calls only got more desperate as I went through them. Some of them were faked cheerful greetings. In some of them, it seemed Ben was losing it and was on the verge of tears.

I took down his number and thought…”What the hell?”

Saturday, December 12.

Ben and I planned to meet at midnight at a small coffeehouse a few blocks from the University of Texas campus. I arrived thirty minutes early and chose a dark corner at the very back of the building. I ordered a cup of coffee and let it sit in front of me, slowly getting colder.

About five minutes before midnight, Ben showed up. He was better looking than I remembered. I watched him for a few minutes as he wandered around the front portion of the coffeehouse. His eyes were wild with anticipation. His cheeks were flushed, but I could not tell if it was from nerves or the cold winter air outside the coffeehouse.

He eventually spotted me and stopped in his tracks. He stared at me for a moment, as if he couldn’t believe I was actually there. He moved toward me across the room quickly, almost running. He slid into the booth across from me.

His smile stretched across his face and he immediately began to speak. “I can’t believe you actually showed,” he said to me.

“Hello, Ben,” I said, “I promised I would be here and here I am. What did you want to talk about?”

It was at this point that Ben spilled everything to me. The torture of the past few weeks. He said that he was unable to think of anything else. His girlfriend had dumped him for not showing enough interest and he was being called gay by his teammates because of his incessant talking about me.

I couldn’t believe this as I listened. A few months ago, this would never have happened. An attractive, masculine and charming college jock turned gay for me? That’s crazy, I thought to myself.

I kept my composure and let him talk. He talked for almost 30 minutes straight. When he was finished I asked him one question: “Why do you like me so much?”

His answer was quite interesting to me. I will try to get it as close to verbatim as possible. “Like you?” he started, “I think I love you. I don’t know why. I am completely connected to you. I feel like you can see inside me. You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I feel like I belong with you and you with me.”

Had I not known that this was all implanted into his brain, I would have been enamored with him just as he was with me. I smiled at him kindly. I told him that I thought he was just infatuated with me and that in time he would be back to normal. I told him that I was extremely flattered but that he should go back to his girlfriend.

I threw a dollar on the table and stood to leave. He grabbed my arm as I began to walk away. “Please don’t leave me again,” he begged.

I looked down at him. I examined his deep blue eyes, full of pleading. My eyes lingered on his strong jaw line, his hard chest, the bulging muscles of his arm as he held my wrist. And I that was when I felt the most amazing sensation. It was the first moment I felt a feeling of longing that was not related to blood lust. It was the first moment I realized that I still longed for companionship and the touch of another.

I looked away from him, not wanting to influence him. “Is this what you really want?” I asked him. “Yes,” he replied, “more than anything.”

We left the coffeehouse quickly, with him following close behind me. I didn’t know if I could do what I wanted to do. I had not been in such close quarters with a human being since the night I was turned. I didn’t know how the entire experience would work in my new state of being.

In the car, he sat silently watching me as I drove. For some reason, this didn’t bother me in the least. I liked him looking at me. I liked being wanted. Ten minutes later, I unlocked the door to my apartment and let him in. Dustin was seated on the couch. He stood as we entered. I quickly introduced them. Ben asked where the restroom and I pointed him in the direction of my bedroom. As soon as he left the room, Dustin grabbed me by the arm.

“What are you doing? Are you crazy? Please tell me you aren’t going to…” he stammered.

“No!” I interrupted, “I have no intention of having him for dinner.” I smiled at this last part.

“Then what are you doing?” He asked.

“You’re a big boy. I think you can guess.”

“Can you even do that anymore?”

“I guess we’ll find out,” I answered.

“You don’t think you might…bite in the...you know…heat of the moment?” Dustin asked.

“I have been working on control. I think I can do it.” I reassured him.

I turned to walk away and Dustin grabbed my arm, obviously not finished with the conversation. For some reason, something inside of me snapped. I turned back on him and pushed him against the wall. “I want this and you can’t stop me,” I growled.

Dustin’s eyes were wide with fear. After a moment of looking into his eyes and seeing the terror that laid inside, my body almost went limp. I took two steps back and released him. He rubbed his chest slowly. I obviously had hurt him. I didn’t know what to say.

“I’m sorry.” I said and backed away down the hallway to my bedroom door. I stepped into my room, leaving Dustin staring at my exit. I closed the door and turned around.

And there was Ben. He had shed most of his clothing and was standing in the dim glow from the bathroom. I locked the door and stepped toward him.

And over the next couple of hours I learned that in one way, at least, I was still an average human man…well, maybe a little better than average.

I awoke at 3am and rolled over. He was still there. He was deep in sleep. I let my eyes roam over his perfectly flawed human face. I found a small scar near his right eye and traced it with my fingertip. All my scars had faded within three days of being turned. I loved looking at his face, so perfect in the imperfections.

I also loved the warmth of his body…I also hated it. It taunted me. I hated knowing that in his veins flowed the one thing that could make me feel special again. Just like the other night, with the criminal, while the Dark Man watched.

I ran my cold fingertip along his chest and this must have startled him because he woke up suddenly and looked at me.
“What are you doing?” he asked. I smiled at him and told him. “Admiring my scars? You’re so weird, Mike,” he laughed.

“You have to go,” I said and rolled out of bed. I began to gather my clothes from the floor.

“Can’t I just sleep here and then we can spend the day together tomorrow?” he begged.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“You will never see me during the day. Get used to it.” I replied. He looked at me with a strange look. “Look,” I stated, “I have an allergy to the sun and I can’t go out in the sunlight. It’s embarrassing and I didn’t want to talk about it, thanks so much.” That lie was coming easier.

“Oh,” He gasped,” That’s why you’re so pale!”

“Glad you noticed,” I replied, smirking, “Now get out of bed and get dressed. I have to get you home.”

Twenty minutes later we were in the car headed back to campus. He kept trying to hold my hand during the drive. I fought it many times but eventually his persistence paid off and I found my hand enveloped inside his. His palm was burning hot and I could almost feel the blood inside it calling me.

I was getting hungrier by the minute. I hadn’t fed and my body had no more of the criminals blood to sustain it. I needed blood now.

I looked over at him as he dozed in the passenger seat. I could see the vein in his neck pulsing. I could smell the blood. I could feel it pulling me. I turned and focused on the road, trying my best to push the smell of his blood to the back of my mind.

After what seemed like an abnormally long drive I pulled up in front of his dorm. I reached across him and opened his door. He grabbed my arm and pulled me into a deep kiss. I kissed him back but my senses were now pushed into overdrive. I felt my fangs begin to descend and I pulled away from him. I covered my fangs as best I could with my lips.

“You have to go.” I said curtly.

“Ok,” he muttered, confused, “Can I see you tomorrow night?”

“I’ll call you.” I said forcefully.

He stepped out of the car and I pushed the pedal to the floor. The door slammed shut as the car surged forward and as I looked into my rear view mirror, I saw him standing there watching me drive away.

The ache in my stomach was growing more painful. I needed to feed now. I had to find something, any animal would do. But where did you find an animal in the middle of the city?

I spun around a corner and ran a red light. I set my course for Zilker Park and accelerated as much as I could. Five minutes later my car screeched to a halt outside the gates of Zilker Park. I left my car and walked to the gates. They were locked, of course. I leapt up as hard as I could and landed safely on the other side of the gate. I ran down the main path and into the rose garden. I sat on my haunches under a tree and watched the grass for signs of movement.

I needed a rabbit, a rat, a squirrel…any animal would do. And then there was a movement out of the corner of my eye. A small squirrel was less than five feet away. I set my sights on it and my fangs descended. I was about to leap at my prey when a beam of light hit me in the face. I looked up to find the source. The light was blinding but as the figure came closer I could see it was a flashlight beam. It was being held aloft my a short Hispanic woman in a brown uniform. I put my hand over my eyes and the beam was lowered toward the ground. I saw the badge on her jacket. She was a security guard. I don’t know why I didn’t expect one. I guess I just didn’t think flowers needed protecting.

“Parks closed, young man,” the security guard said.

I didn’t move. She came closer. She was within ten feet of me now. I looked over her face. She looked friendly. She was probably in her 40s. Her face was that of the kind neighborhood mom. She probably had a couple of kids at home, maybe a husband. And even as I thought this, my eyes darted to the pulsing vein in her neck.

And without thinking I leapt at her. My legs wrapped around her waist instinctively. My hands pushed her head to the side exposing her neck. And as we tumbled to the gravel floor I sank my teeth into her neck.

Euphoria took hold of me as her blood filled my mouth and flowed down my throat into the pit of my hungry stomach. I could feel her in my veins. I could feel her life ebbing away while making my body stronger. I sucked until I felt her legs cease kicking and her groaning faded away.

I wrenched myself away from her and stood. I backed away in horror. What had I done? Not only had I killed a human, but I had killed an innocent. My hands grabbed my forehead and I backed away into the darkness. I ran for the gate and vaulted over it without stopping. I landed on the pavement in front of my car and ran to the door.

I ripped the door open and slid into the drivers seat. My head fell onto the steering wheel and my mind whirled. I couldn’t believe what I had just done. My body was both paralyzed with fear and pulsing with power.

I sat there for what seemed like an eternity. I looked at the clock. It was almost 5AM. I had only an hour to get back into the safety of my home. My hands still shaking, I reached for the gear shift. And then I heard a chilling voice come from the passenger seat. At the sound of his voice, I looked up and saw the Dark Man smiling a wicked grin in my direction.

“My, what a mess you made back there,” he laughed…

-----------------

Ok, that’s about all I have time for at the moment. I will write more after I have my dinner (non-human, I swear)OR maybe tomorrow night. The next part of my tale is the hardest part to tell and I am not sure if I have it in me tonight.

Sleep tight dear mortals!

-Mike