It’s Christmas Eve. I regretfully found no good way to see my family. I used work as an excuse. I feel bad about missing another holiday but I don’t think “Hey, I am a vampire” is the kind of Christmas greeting they want. But to my faithful readers…er…reader, Merry Christmas. Hope it’s better than mine.
But now, onward we must go. I promised I would finish the story that led to my long absence from the world wide web. Now, I must admit, parts of this are as clear as if they happened twenty minutes ago and some of it is not so clear, like looking through glass smeared with mud. I will try to do my best to make it coherent though.
I believe we left off about two hours before sun-up on…
Sunday, December 13.
I was completely shocked and horrified by the sudden appearance of the Dark Man in my car. I leapt against my car door, trying to keep the distance between us as far as possible.
He smiled that evil grin of his and laughed at me. He laughed for almost a full minute, loud guffaws at my expense. “I can’t believe you did that! I guess you aren’t trying to hold on to mortality as much as I thought! Killing an innocent! I never would have expected that!”
I shuddered as he began to laugh again. My entire being was filled with shame and fear. I yelled at him senselessly, trying to get him to shut up. But his laughter only grew at this. Frustrated I flung my car door open and began to step out. In what must’ve been less than a second my head was pinned against the back of my seat.
The Dark Man reached across me and pulled the door shut. He moved his face within an inch of mine. I could smell him. He was musty and smelled of dirt and rot. “Were you just going to leave her there? Were you not going to clean up the mess you just made?” he sneered at me.
“Don’t you see what you could’ve done? You would have led them right to you. A dead body, fang marks on the neck, footprints, fingerprints and probably even cameras. Such a rookie mistake,” he laughed.
Moments later we were standing at the scene of my crime. The Dark Man surveyed the area with glee. He took a walk around the area, moving in a wider circle around the body each time. He came back to me and declared that he had found no cameras that had borne witness to my feeding. Then he turned to me and smiled again. “Now, get rid of the body,” he ordered.
I looked down at the body on the ground. I looked around me, confused. What was I supposed to do with it? I looked at him with the question in my eyes.
“Must I do everything for you?” he groaned. He walked over to the body and knelt next to it. He placed one hand on the foot of the corpse, and his other around the calf. He gripped hard and then pulled his arms in opposite directions. The foot dislodged itself from the body with a sickening slosh and crack.
I turned my eyes to the side, trying not to vomit. I watched with horror as The Dark Man split the body into sections. Within five minutes the security guard was nothing but a pile of flesh. Luckily I had drained the guard of all but drops of her blood. This made the area a lot less messy.
The Dark Man stood up from his work. “This is why you shouldn’t kill anywhere there isn’t an easy disposal location nearby. Lakes, ponds, graveyards with open graves, slaughterhouses…all good locations,” he explained.
I cringed at the last one. “Slaughterhouses?” I asked. He rolled his eyes. “After you’re done, just split the body and throw it in with the other useless bovine parts,” he explained, “Now, take these pieces to your car.”
I held back my gags as I gathered body parts into my arms and delivered them to my car. I didn’t have a bag so I dropped them into the trunk. It took me three trips but eventually I had the entire body in my trunk. The Dark Man helped me walk the area and brush away any footprints left at the location of the scuffle.
When we were done we drove to a nearby convenience store and bought a roll of duct tape and some garbage bags. The Dark Man then instructed me to drive down to the lake. I put the pedal to the metal as I could see the light threatening to break over the horizon. I could feel the sun coming.
At the lake, we parked and wrapped the body parts into garbage bags along with the largest stones we could find. Then we taped the packages as tightly as possible.
“Now what?” I asked. The Dark Man grabbed three of the packages and said, “Now we swim.” He carried the parcels to the edge of the lake. I watched him strip out of his clothes, pick up the packages and leap into the cold water. After what seemed like 3 minutes he came up again. “Go down as deep as you can and try to wedge them into the lake floor.
I stripped out of my clothes and followed suit. After two trips the body was safely stowed away at the bottom of the lake.
After we dressed again, I stood by the lake for a moment. I thought about the woman’s family. I didn’t know her situation and had no idea who was waiting for her at home. I only knew that they would wait forever and she would never come.
The Dark Man let me have a moment, something I am surprised about, now that I think back. Then he came up behind me. “We must go now. The sun will be up soon.”
We got in my car and I began to head home. He stayed silent until I was about to exit to go toward my apartment complex. “Stay straight,” he instructed me. “Wait, my apartment is…”I started. “We aren’t going to your place. Irma wants to see you,” he smiled.
“Who’s Irma?” I asked.
“You’ll see,” he answered smugly.
We drove for about fifteen minutes. The Dark Man pointed out each turn. We finally came to a stop in a small residential neighborhood. The lawns were neatly trimmed. BMWs and Mercedes Benz were parked in each driveway. But our target was a quaint yellow house with white trim. Flowers were planted in boxes along the windows. A miniature windmill turned in the breeze and an American flag flapped from its location on a pole from the front porch columns. My grandmother could have lived here.
The Dark Man led me to the door and rang the doorbell. There was the sound of movement inside and then the door cracked just a bit. “Who is it?” a voice asked from inside. “It’s me,” the Dark Man answered flatly. The door swung open to reveal a diminutive black woman with huge reading glasses perched on her short nose.
“Hello, Velma, is Irma still awake or has she retired?” The Dark Man asked.
“She has just gone downstairs,” she said as she glanced at the slowly brightening street, “ You two better come in.”
We stepped into the hallway of what seemed like an average American home. It was complete with knick knacks, umbrella stand and family pictures. I almost laughed at sheer ridiculousness of it all. Vampires just didn’t fit into these surroundings.
“You can take the spare rooms in the cellar. I will wake you up at 8pm,” Velma said as she opened the closet door. I followed the Dark Man as he stepped into the closet. We brushed through a collection of coats and boxes and pushed through a false wall in the back.
We stepped into a dark hallway lit only by night lights that were plugged in every few feet. We walked about ten feet and then the Dark Man pointed to a door to my left. “You can sleep in there. It’s light proof.”
I nodded and stepped through the door. I looked around the room. It was dark and I could barely make out the furnishings. I saw a bookshelf in one corner, covered in cobwebs. A desk and chair sat in the opposite corner. I turned back to my companion. “Where’s the bed?” I asked.
He pointed to a third corner and I shuddered. It was a coffin. I looked at him and with horror in my eyes. Surely he wasn’t serious! “Yes, it is a bit old fashioned, I know. But it’s surprisingly comfortable,” the Dark Man said. I stepped forward and looked in the coffin. It was lined with cushiony velvet. I didn’t know how this would be comfortable. I leaned down to feel the lining.
Suddenly I felt a hand on my back and I tumbled into the coffin. I tried to turn over and put my hands up but it was too late. The lid was shut on me. I heard the Dark Man laughing outside. “Sleep tight,” he screamed through the coffin walls and I heard a lock turn and latch. I pushed against the walls of the coffin. I pushed at the lid. I kicked and screamed. But it was to no avail. I was locked in.
I was soon sound asleep.
Some time later, I was awakened by sounds outside of my coffin prison. I heard voices. It was the Dark Man. I couldn’t make out what he was saying. But then I heard a woman’s voice. It was an older woman. It was not the Velma that I had met earlier. She sounded like she was ancient, her voice raspy and quiet. I tried to make out what they were saying. I held my breath and I heard them begin to move out of the room. As they passed my coffin I heard the old woman say “A week should suffice.”
And then silence.
I managed to bring my hands down to my sides and I felt something bulging in my pocket. It was my cell phone! My first instinct was to call the police. But could I do that? How would I explain my condition? Who could I call?
After five minutes of twisting and turning I managed to pull the phone from my pocket and bring it up toward my head. I flipped the phone open and the display lit up the inside of the coffin. The display was bright and hurt my eyes in the darkness. After my vision was clear I looked at the display. It read: Sunday 12/13/09 11:30pm. In the upper right corner of the display were the words NO SIGNAL. I looked at the battery life. It read 78%. Luckily, I had charged my phone after I had found it.
I closed the phone and lay in the darkness. The hours passed slowly. I checked my phone often at first and then as the time passed by, less and less. I began to fade in and out of consciousness. Everything seemed to blur and I was lost in my thoughts.
Every time I felt…”right”…I checked the date and time on my phone, only leaving it open for seconds in order to conserve the battery. I watched the days pass.
Monday 12/14/09 10:15pm
This is when the calls came. I tried to answer but the signal was too weak and calls were disconnected immediately.
Tuesday 12/15/09 1:08am
This is when the thirst hit me first.
Thursday 12/17/09 9:22pm
The pain in my stomach was so unbearable that I could barely think straight. My entire body felt as if it had been beaten relentlessly. My skin was wrinkled and loose. I was literally wasting away.
Sunday 12/20/09 4:30am
And then finally, on Monday, I felt my coffin begin to move. I heard the key turn and then there was blinding white light as the coffin lid was opened.
The instant I felt I could escape I leapt from my prison cell, I whipped my arms around me and swung at everything around me. I felt my fist connect with soft flesh and then I was suddenly pinned against the wall by my throat. My vision slowly cleared and I was looking down into the eyes of a small elderly woman. She had her hand wrapped around my neck and I was pinned against the wall a full foot off the ground.
“Are you going to behave yourself, young man?” she asked.
I nodded as much as I could and the old woman released me. I crumpled onto the floor and looked up at her.
“I’m Irma,” she began, “You hit my Velma. That is not acceptable. I’ve a mind to place you back in that coffin for another week.”
I looked into the corner and saw the Dark Man holding Velma in his arms. She was unconscious. I looked back at the woman and began to plead. I apologized profusely and began to sob, choking because of my dry throat.
“Get yourself cleaned up and then come up stairs. We need to talk,” she said as she left the room, followed by the Dark Man who carried Velma in his arms.
I was left alone and looked over to the desk. I crawled to it and then climbed into the rickety chair in front of it. On the desktop sat a candelabra that burned brightly, a change of clothes in my size, a basin of water, a mirror and a small box with holes poked in the side.
I leaned over the mirror and looked at my own reflection. I was a shell of my former self. I looked like a living skeleton. Skin hung off of my cheeks and my eyes were deeper set than ever before.
Then suddenly a scent hit me. Blood. Living blood. I ripped the lid off the box and took in its contents for only a mere moment. Then I grabbed the kitten, my fangs descended and I fed. I literally felt the skin begin to tighten on my cheeks. After feeding, I looked in the mirror. My skin was markedly tighter, yet I still looked haggard. I slipped out of my clothes and dressed in the fresh clothes on the desk. I washed my face quickly and then ventured into the hallway.
As I stepped out of the closet, the Dark Man was waiting for me. “This way,” he said and led me out of the hallway into a sitting room lit by only a few lamps and a fire in a small fireplace in the corner.
Irma sat in an armchair nearest the fire. She was holding a small dog on her lap and as I entered she barely glanced up at me.
“Come sit next to me, dear,” she said and pointed to the end of the sofa nearest to her. I obeyed and sat down. She looked up at me, grabbed my chin and eyed my face. “My, you are young. You are still not full, are you?” she asked. I shook my head no. “We’ll fix that,” she said and she picked the puppy up of her lap and sat it on mine.
I took that as a cue and lifted the dog to my mouth. I was about to bite when the dog was ripped from my grasp. Irma held the puppy to her breast and looked at me in horror.
“NOT MITZIE!” she cried. After a moment of awkward stares she rang a bell and Velma entered. Her cheek was swollen and bruised. She carried two more small kittens with her. She handed them to me. I fed quickly, emptying the creatures in less than a minute. Velma took the lifeless bodies from my hands and left the room.
“Better, already.” Irma said and smiled warmly. She leaned forward and looked at me for a moment. “I bet you wonder why you are here. Well, I will tell you. Your maker was an idiot. He made you on a whim and then abandoned you without any teaching.” She glared at the Dark Man as she said this.
“That being said, there are rules and you have broken them. Your offense is a grave one. However, you have been punished and we can move forward without further mistakes,” she said.
“I am sorry, Irma. I am not sure what I have done.” I replied.
“Not sure? You have exposed your kind to great danger. You fed on an innocent and were going to just leave the body in the open. You openly reveal yourself as vampire to your close human companions. If they told anyone of your existence, we could be in great danger. We are few and far between and we persist in existing because we keep in the shadows.”
“But they are my friends! I had to tell them what was going on!” I cried.
“No! Being vampire means you must cut all ties to humans! You must dispose of them and soon. Do it neatly, quickly and for god’s sake get rid of the bodies yourself!”
“You want me to kill my friends?”
“It must be done.”
“I can’t!”
“You must or I will have it done for you!”
I was dumbstruck. I didn’t know what to say. But I knew Irma wouldn’t take no for an answer. I sat and stared at the floor. This was an impossible task.
“Now, go, you need a real meal. Your vehicle is outside. The keys are inside. You maker will see you out.” she said, and went back to petting her dog.
The Dark Man came to me and grabbed me by the arm and pulled me toward the front hallway.
“Michael,” Irma called after us,” I realize this goes against everything I have just told you, but, please continue writing your story on the…what do you call it?…interwebs. I do enjoy hearing of your development. You are no Lestat but I find it riveting, nonetheless.”
I nodded and was pulled out of the room by the Dark Man. He held me steady as we walked to my car. He opened the door for me. “I suggest you feed soon. You are still weak. I’ll be in touch,” he said as he shut the door on me.
I drove straight home, my mind still reeling with the horrors that I had just experienced. When I reached home, I unlocked the door slowly and stepped inside. Cheryl rushed me at the door and wrapped her arms around me. Dustin stood a few feet back, a look of relief on his face.
After a moment I took a step back and leaned against the door. I looked into the faces of my two best friends. The two best friends I had been ordered to kill. I sank to the floor and began to cry…but the tears never came.
Hours later, after a hot shower and three tall glasses of cold cow blood, I told them a lie to explain the past week. I told them I had met my maker and had been taken away to learn more about my kind. They asked for details but I shrugged off their questions until the stopped asking.
I never told them what I had been ordered to do. And as I sat there in their presence, I knew that I could not do as I had been ordered. I would have to find a way out of this.
And that’s what my next step is. I have to protect my friends, or die trying.
- Mike
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
December 23, 2009
I apologize for my absence. I have been...occupied for the past couple weeks. I also apologize in advance for what promises to be a rather lengthy entry. However, I hope that by the end of it, you will be better informed about why I abandoned cyberspace for so long. It all began on…
Thursday, December 10.
I had been thinking non-stop about my encounter with The Dark Man. I didn’t know what to think. Could I kill a human being again? Why did he want me to? What was his motivation? Was he simply trying to control me? All of these thoughts plagued my mind.
After a couple days of rabbits and cold blood drained from ground beef, I decided that I needed it. I needed that rush. That feeling of power. At that point, I almost didn’t care if it was wrong or not. Human blood was like a drug and I was already hopelessly addicted.
I started thinking about the most obvious place to find vile, disgusting and depraved individuals to quench my thirst. The most obvious, of course, was prison. But that seemed a bit out of reach. Even with my powers I knew it would be disastrous. And then one day, I came upon an article about sex predators. It hit me like a ton of bricks: the national sex offender registry.
What could be lower than rapists and pedophiles? I immediately searched the database and came up with hundreds (literally) of offenders in my area of Austin.
I chose a person with the most vicious crime and began to research their history, their case and their current whereabouts. My soon to be meal was a child rapist by the name of Leopold (creepy, right?). I dove into research and spent the entire night finding out as much information as I possibly could.
Friday, December 11.
I awoke around 8pm on Friday and looked around my room. It had become a disgusting mess. I spent the majority of my team indoors and my room definitely was showing the signs. I began to clean and as I was placing dirty clothes in the hamper, I came across my cell phone.
I had pretty much forgotten about it over the past month. I was a nocturnal creature now and all the people I had previously talked on the phone with were still living day-side. I flipped it open and amazingly, it still had a little battery life left. I had 20 missed calls. I pushed the voicemail and sat down at my desk to take down messages.
After five minutes of listening to messages, it became pretty apparent that I need not take down any messages. All but an assorted few were from one person: Ben.
The first message went something like this: “Hello, this is Ben. We met downtown last night. I have been thinking about you non-stop. I have never felt this way about a guy before. Please call me.”
The calls only got more desperate as I went through them. Some of them were faked cheerful greetings. In some of them, it seemed Ben was losing it and was on the verge of tears.
I took down his number and thought…”What the hell?”
Saturday, December 12.
Ben and I planned to meet at midnight at a small coffeehouse a few blocks from the University of Texas campus. I arrived thirty minutes early and chose a dark corner at the very back of the building. I ordered a cup of coffee and let it sit in front of me, slowly getting colder.
About five minutes before midnight, Ben showed up. He was better looking than I remembered. I watched him for a few minutes as he wandered around the front portion of the coffeehouse. His eyes were wild with anticipation. His cheeks were flushed, but I could not tell if it was from nerves or the cold winter air outside the coffeehouse.
He eventually spotted me and stopped in his tracks. He stared at me for a moment, as if he couldn’t believe I was actually there. He moved toward me across the room quickly, almost running. He slid into the booth across from me.
His smile stretched across his face and he immediately began to speak. “I can’t believe you actually showed,” he said to me.
“Hello, Ben,” I said, “I promised I would be here and here I am. What did you want to talk about?”
It was at this point that Ben spilled everything to me. The torture of the past few weeks. He said that he was unable to think of anything else. His girlfriend had dumped him for not showing enough interest and he was being called gay by his teammates because of his incessant talking about me.
I couldn’t believe this as I listened. A few months ago, this would never have happened. An attractive, masculine and charming college jock turned gay for me? That’s crazy, I thought to myself.
I kept my composure and let him talk. He talked for almost 30 minutes straight. When he was finished I asked him one question: “Why do you like me so much?”
His answer was quite interesting to me. I will try to get it as close to verbatim as possible. “Like you?” he started, “I think I love you. I don’t know why. I am completely connected to you. I feel like you can see inside me. You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I feel like I belong with you and you with me.”
Had I not known that this was all implanted into his brain, I would have been enamored with him just as he was with me. I smiled at him kindly. I told him that I thought he was just infatuated with me and that in time he would be back to normal. I told him that I was extremely flattered but that he should go back to his girlfriend.
I threw a dollar on the table and stood to leave. He grabbed my arm as I began to walk away. “Please don’t leave me again,” he begged.
I looked down at him. I examined his deep blue eyes, full of pleading. My eyes lingered on his strong jaw line, his hard chest, the bulging muscles of his arm as he held my wrist. And I that was when I felt the most amazing sensation. It was the first moment I felt a feeling of longing that was not related to blood lust. It was the first moment I realized that I still longed for companionship and the touch of another.
I looked away from him, not wanting to influence him. “Is this what you really want?” I asked him. “Yes,” he replied, “more than anything.”
We left the coffeehouse quickly, with him following close behind me. I didn’t know if I could do what I wanted to do. I had not been in such close quarters with a human being since the night I was turned. I didn’t know how the entire experience would work in my new state of being.
In the car, he sat silently watching me as I drove. For some reason, this didn’t bother me in the least. I liked him looking at me. I liked being wanted. Ten minutes later, I unlocked the door to my apartment and let him in. Dustin was seated on the couch. He stood as we entered. I quickly introduced them. Ben asked where the restroom and I pointed him in the direction of my bedroom. As soon as he left the room, Dustin grabbed me by the arm.
“What are you doing? Are you crazy? Please tell me you aren’t going to…” he stammered.
“No!” I interrupted, “I have no intention of having him for dinner.” I smiled at this last part.
“Then what are you doing?” He asked.
“You’re a big boy. I think you can guess.”
“Can you even do that anymore?”
“I guess we’ll find out,” I answered.
“You don’t think you might…bite in the...you know…heat of the moment?” Dustin asked.
“I have been working on control. I think I can do it.” I reassured him.
I turned to walk away and Dustin grabbed my arm, obviously not finished with the conversation. For some reason, something inside of me snapped. I turned back on him and pushed him against the wall. “I want this and you can’t stop me,” I growled.
Dustin’s eyes were wide with fear. After a moment of looking into his eyes and seeing the terror that laid inside, my body almost went limp. I took two steps back and released him. He rubbed his chest slowly. I obviously had hurt him. I didn’t know what to say.
“I’m sorry.” I said and backed away down the hallway to my bedroom door. I stepped into my room, leaving Dustin staring at my exit. I closed the door and turned around.
And there was Ben. He had shed most of his clothing and was standing in the dim glow from the bathroom. I locked the door and stepped toward him.
And over the next couple of hours I learned that in one way, at least, I was still an average human man…well, maybe a little better than average.
I awoke at 3am and rolled over. He was still there. He was deep in sleep. I let my eyes roam over his perfectly flawed human face. I found a small scar near his right eye and traced it with my fingertip. All my scars had faded within three days of being turned. I loved looking at his face, so perfect in the imperfections.
I also loved the warmth of his body…I also hated it. It taunted me. I hated knowing that in his veins flowed the one thing that could make me feel special again. Just like the other night, with the criminal, while the Dark Man watched.
I ran my cold fingertip along his chest and this must have startled him because he woke up suddenly and looked at me.
“What are you doing?” he asked. I smiled at him and told him. “Admiring my scars? You’re so weird, Mike,” he laughed.
“You have to go,” I said and rolled out of bed. I began to gather my clothes from the floor.
“Can’t I just sleep here and then we can spend the day together tomorrow?” he begged.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“You will never see me during the day. Get used to it.” I replied. He looked at me with a strange look. “Look,” I stated, “I have an allergy to the sun and I can’t go out in the sunlight. It’s embarrassing and I didn’t want to talk about it, thanks so much.” That lie was coming easier.
“Oh,” He gasped,” That’s why you’re so pale!”
“Glad you noticed,” I replied, smirking, “Now get out of bed and get dressed. I have to get you home.”
Twenty minutes later we were in the car headed back to campus. He kept trying to hold my hand during the drive. I fought it many times but eventually his persistence paid off and I found my hand enveloped inside his. His palm was burning hot and I could almost feel the blood inside it calling me.
I was getting hungrier by the minute. I hadn’t fed and my body had no more of the criminals blood to sustain it. I needed blood now.
I looked over at him as he dozed in the passenger seat. I could see the vein in his neck pulsing. I could smell the blood. I could feel it pulling me. I turned and focused on the road, trying my best to push the smell of his blood to the back of my mind.
After what seemed like an abnormally long drive I pulled up in front of his dorm. I reached across him and opened his door. He grabbed my arm and pulled me into a deep kiss. I kissed him back but my senses were now pushed into overdrive. I felt my fangs begin to descend and I pulled away from him. I covered my fangs as best I could with my lips.
“You have to go.” I said curtly.
“Ok,” he muttered, confused, “Can I see you tomorrow night?”
“I’ll call you.” I said forcefully.
He stepped out of the car and I pushed the pedal to the floor. The door slammed shut as the car surged forward and as I looked into my rear view mirror, I saw him standing there watching me drive away.
The ache in my stomach was growing more painful. I needed to feed now. I had to find something, any animal would do. But where did you find an animal in the middle of the city?
I spun around a corner and ran a red light. I set my course for Zilker Park and accelerated as much as I could. Five minutes later my car screeched to a halt outside the gates of Zilker Park. I left my car and walked to the gates. They were locked, of course. I leapt up as hard as I could and landed safely on the other side of the gate. I ran down the main path and into the rose garden. I sat on my haunches under a tree and watched the grass for signs of movement.
I needed a rabbit, a rat, a squirrel…any animal would do. And then there was a movement out of the corner of my eye. A small squirrel was less than five feet away. I set my sights on it and my fangs descended. I was about to leap at my prey when a beam of light hit me in the face. I looked up to find the source. The light was blinding but as the figure came closer I could see it was a flashlight beam. It was being held aloft my a short Hispanic woman in a brown uniform. I put my hand over my eyes and the beam was lowered toward the ground. I saw the badge on her jacket. She was a security guard. I don’t know why I didn’t expect one. I guess I just didn’t think flowers needed protecting.
“Parks closed, young man,” the security guard said.
I didn’t move. She came closer. She was within ten feet of me now. I looked over her face. She looked friendly. She was probably in her 40s. Her face was that of the kind neighborhood mom. She probably had a couple of kids at home, maybe a husband. And even as I thought this, my eyes darted to the pulsing vein in her neck.
And without thinking I leapt at her. My legs wrapped around her waist instinctively. My hands pushed her head to the side exposing her neck. And as we tumbled to the gravel floor I sank my teeth into her neck.
Euphoria took hold of me as her blood filled my mouth and flowed down my throat into the pit of my hungry stomach. I could feel her in my veins. I could feel her life ebbing away while making my body stronger. I sucked until I felt her legs cease kicking and her groaning faded away.
I wrenched myself away from her and stood. I backed away in horror. What had I done? Not only had I killed a human, but I had killed an innocent. My hands grabbed my forehead and I backed away into the darkness. I ran for the gate and vaulted over it without stopping. I landed on the pavement in front of my car and ran to the door.
I ripped the door open and slid into the drivers seat. My head fell onto the steering wheel and my mind whirled. I couldn’t believe what I had just done. My body was both paralyzed with fear and pulsing with power.
I sat there for what seemed like an eternity. I looked at the clock. It was almost 5AM. I had only an hour to get back into the safety of my home. My hands still shaking, I reached for the gear shift. And then I heard a chilling voice come from the passenger seat. At the sound of his voice, I looked up and saw the Dark Man smiling a wicked grin in my direction.
“My, what a mess you made back there,” he laughed…
-----------------
Ok, that’s about all I have time for at the moment. I will write more after I have my dinner (non-human, I swear)OR maybe tomorrow night. The next part of my tale is the hardest part to tell and I am not sure if I have it in me tonight.
Sleep tight dear mortals!
-Mike
Thursday, December 10.
I had been thinking non-stop about my encounter with The Dark Man. I didn’t know what to think. Could I kill a human being again? Why did he want me to? What was his motivation? Was he simply trying to control me? All of these thoughts plagued my mind.
After a couple days of rabbits and cold blood drained from ground beef, I decided that I needed it. I needed that rush. That feeling of power. At that point, I almost didn’t care if it was wrong or not. Human blood was like a drug and I was already hopelessly addicted.
I started thinking about the most obvious place to find vile, disgusting and depraved individuals to quench my thirst. The most obvious, of course, was prison. But that seemed a bit out of reach. Even with my powers I knew it would be disastrous. And then one day, I came upon an article about sex predators. It hit me like a ton of bricks: the national sex offender registry.
What could be lower than rapists and pedophiles? I immediately searched the database and came up with hundreds (literally) of offenders in my area of Austin.
I chose a person with the most vicious crime and began to research their history, their case and their current whereabouts. My soon to be meal was a child rapist by the name of Leopold (creepy, right?). I dove into research and spent the entire night finding out as much information as I possibly could.
Friday, December 11.
I awoke around 8pm on Friday and looked around my room. It had become a disgusting mess. I spent the majority of my team indoors and my room definitely was showing the signs. I began to clean and as I was placing dirty clothes in the hamper, I came across my cell phone.
I had pretty much forgotten about it over the past month. I was a nocturnal creature now and all the people I had previously talked on the phone with were still living day-side. I flipped it open and amazingly, it still had a little battery life left. I had 20 missed calls. I pushed the voicemail and sat down at my desk to take down messages.
After five minutes of listening to messages, it became pretty apparent that I need not take down any messages. All but an assorted few were from one person: Ben.
The first message went something like this: “Hello, this is Ben. We met downtown last night. I have been thinking about you non-stop. I have never felt this way about a guy before. Please call me.”
The calls only got more desperate as I went through them. Some of them were faked cheerful greetings. In some of them, it seemed Ben was losing it and was on the verge of tears.
I took down his number and thought…”What the hell?”
Saturday, December 12.
Ben and I planned to meet at midnight at a small coffeehouse a few blocks from the University of Texas campus. I arrived thirty minutes early and chose a dark corner at the very back of the building. I ordered a cup of coffee and let it sit in front of me, slowly getting colder.
About five minutes before midnight, Ben showed up. He was better looking than I remembered. I watched him for a few minutes as he wandered around the front portion of the coffeehouse. His eyes were wild with anticipation. His cheeks were flushed, but I could not tell if it was from nerves or the cold winter air outside the coffeehouse.
He eventually spotted me and stopped in his tracks. He stared at me for a moment, as if he couldn’t believe I was actually there. He moved toward me across the room quickly, almost running. He slid into the booth across from me.
His smile stretched across his face and he immediately began to speak. “I can’t believe you actually showed,” he said to me.
“Hello, Ben,” I said, “I promised I would be here and here I am. What did you want to talk about?”
It was at this point that Ben spilled everything to me. The torture of the past few weeks. He said that he was unable to think of anything else. His girlfriend had dumped him for not showing enough interest and he was being called gay by his teammates because of his incessant talking about me.
I couldn’t believe this as I listened. A few months ago, this would never have happened. An attractive, masculine and charming college jock turned gay for me? That’s crazy, I thought to myself.
I kept my composure and let him talk. He talked for almost 30 minutes straight. When he was finished I asked him one question: “Why do you like me so much?”
His answer was quite interesting to me. I will try to get it as close to verbatim as possible. “Like you?” he started, “I think I love you. I don’t know why. I am completely connected to you. I feel like you can see inside me. You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I feel like I belong with you and you with me.”
Had I not known that this was all implanted into his brain, I would have been enamored with him just as he was with me. I smiled at him kindly. I told him that I thought he was just infatuated with me and that in time he would be back to normal. I told him that I was extremely flattered but that he should go back to his girlfriend.
I threw a dollar on the table and stood to leave. He grabbed my arm as I began to walk away. “Please don’t leave me again,” he begged.
I looked down at him. I examined his deep blue eyes, full of pleading. My eyes lingered on his strong jaw line, his hard chest, the bulging muscles of his arm as he held my wrist. And I that was when I felt the most amazing sensation. It was the first moment I felt a feeling of longing that was not related to blood lust. It was the first moment I realized that I still longed for companionship and the touch of another.
I looked away from him, not wanting to influence him. “Is this what you really want?” I asked him. “Yes,” he replied, “more than anything.”
We left the coffeehouse quickly, with him following close behind me. I didn’t know if I could do what I wanted to do. I had not been in such close quarters with a human being since the night I was turned. I didn’t know how the entire experience would work in my new state of being.
In the car, he sat silently watching me as I drove. For some reason, this didn’t bother me in the least. I liked him looking at me. I liked being wanted. Ten minutes later, I unlocked the door to my apartment and let him in. Dustin was seated on the couch. He stood as we entered. I quickly introduced them. Ben asked where the restroom and I pointed him in the direction of my bedroom. As soon as he left the room, Dustin grabbed me by the arm.
“What are you doing? Are you crazy? Please tell me you aren’t going to…” he stammered.
“No!” I interrupted, “I have no intention of having him for dinner.” I smiled at this last part.
“Then what are you doing?” He asked.
“You’re a big boy. I think you can guess.”
“Can you even do that anymore?”
“I guess we’ll find out,” I answered.
“You don’t think you might…bite in the...you know…heat of the moment?” Dustin asked.
“I have been working on control. I think I can do it.” I reassured him.
I turned to walk away and Dustin grabbed my arm, obviously not finished with the conversation. For some reason, something inside of me snapped. I turned back on him and pushed him against the wall. “I want this and you can’t stop me,” I growled.
Dustin’s eyes were wide with fear. After a moment of looking into his eyes and seeing the terror that laid inside, my body almost went limp. I took two steps back and released him. He rubbed his chest slowly. I obviously had hurt him. I didn’t know what to say.
“I’m sorry.” I said and backed away down the hallway to my bedroom door. I stepped into my room, leaving Dustin staring at my exit. I closed the door and turned around.
And there was Ben. He had shed most of his clothing and was standing in the dim glow from the bathroom. I locked the door and stepped toward him.
And over the next couple of hours I learned that in one way, at least, I was still an average human man…well, maybe a little better than average.
I awoke at 3am and rolled over. He was still there. He was deep in sleep. I let my eyes roam over his perfectly flawed human face. I found a small scar near his right eye and traced it with my fingertip. All my scars had faded within three days of being turned. I loved looking at his face, so perfect in the imperfections.
I also loved the warmth of his body…I also hated it. It taunted me. I hated knowing that in his veins flowed the one thing that could make me feel special again. Just like the other night, with the criminal, while the Dark Man watched.
I ran my cold fingertip along his chest and this must have startled him because he woke up suddenly and looked at me.
“What are you doing?” he asked. I smiled at him and told him. “Admiring my scars? You’re so weird, Mike,” he laughed.
“You have to go,” I said and rolled out of bed. I began to gather my clothes from the floor.
“Can’t I just sleep here and then we can spend the day together tomorrow?” he begged.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“You will never see me during the day. Get used to it.” I replied. He looked at me with a strange look. “Look,” I stated, “I have an allergy to the sun and I can’t go out in the sunlight. It’s embarrassing and I didn’t want to talk about it, thanks so much.” That lie was coming easier.
“Oh,” He gasped,” That’s why you’re so pale!”
“Glad you noticed,” I replied, smirking, “Now get out of bed and get dressed. I have to get you home.”
Twenty minutes later we were in the car headed back to campus. He kept trying to hold my hand during the drive. I fought it many times but eventually his persistence paid off and I found my hand enveloped inside his. His palm was burning hot and I could almost feel the blood inside it calling me.
I was getting hungrier by the minute. I hadn’t fed and my body had no more of the criminals blood to sustain it. I needed blood now.
I looked over at him as he dozed in the passenger seat. I could see the vein in his neck pulsing. I could smell the blood. I could feel it pulling me. I turned and focused on the road, trying my best to push the smell of his blood to the back of my mind.
After what seemed like an abnormally long drive I pulled up in front of his dorm. I reached across him and opened his door. He grabbed my arm and pulled me into a deep kiss. I kissed him back but my senses were now pushed into overdrive. I felt my fangs begin to descend and I pulled away from him. I covered my fangs as best I could with my lips.
“You have to go.” I said curtly.
“Ok,” he muttered, confused, “Can I see you tomorrow night?”
“I’ll call you.” I said forcefully.
He stepped out of the car and I pushed the pedal to the floor. The door slammed shut as the car surged forward and as I looked into my rear view mirror, I saw him standing there watching me drive away.
The ache in my stomach was growing more painful. I needed to feed now. I had to find something, any animal would do. But where did you find an animal in the middle of the city?
I spun around a corner and ran a red light. I set my course for Zilker Park and accelerated as much as I could. Five minutes later my car screeched to a halt outside the gates of Zilker Park. I left my car and walked to the gates. They were locked, of course. I leapt up as hard as I could and landed safely on the other side of the gate. I ran down the main path and into the rose garden. I sat on my haunches under a tree and watched the grass for signs of movement.
I needed a rabbit, a rat, a squirrel…any animal would do. And then there was a movement out of the corner of my eye. A small squirrel was less than five feet away. I set my sights on it and my fangs descended. I was about to leap at my prey when a beam of light hit me in the face. I looked up to find the source. The light was blinding but as the figure came closer I could see it was a flashlight beam. It was being held aloft my a short Hispanic woman in a brown uniform. I put my hand over my eyes and the beam was lowered toward the ground. I saw the badge on her jacket. She was a security guard. I don’t know why I didn’t expect one. I guess I just didn’t think flowers needed protecting.
“Parks closed, young man,” the security guard said.
I didn’t move. She came closer. She was within ten feet of me now. I looked over her face. She looked friendly. She was probably in her 40s. Her face was that of the kind neighborhood mom. She probably had a couple of kids at home, maybe a husband. And even as I thought this, my eyes darted to the pulsing vein in her neck.
And without thinking I leapt at her. My legs wrapped around her waist instinctively. My hands pushed her head to the side exposing her neck. And as we tumbled to the gravel floor I sank my teeth into her neck.
Euphoria took hold of me as her blood filled my mouth and flowed down my throat into the pit of my hungry stomach. I could feel her in my veins. I could feel her life ebbing away while making my body stronger. I sucked until I felt her legs cease kicking and her groaning faded away.
I wrenched myself away from her and stood. I backed away in horror. What had I done? Not only had I killed a human, but I had killed an innocent. My hands grabbed my forehead and I backed away into the darkness. I ran for the gate and vaulted over it without stopping. I landed on the pavement in front of my car and ran to the door.
I ripped the door open and slid into the drivers seat. My head fell onto the steering wheel and my mind whirled. I couldn’t believe what I had just done. My body was both paralyzed with fear and pulsing with power.
I sat there for what seemed like an eternity. I looked at the clock. It was almost 5AM. I had only an hour to get back into the safety of my home. My hands still shaking, I reached for the gear shift. And then I heard a chilling voice come from the passenger seat. At the sound of his voice, I looked up and saw the Dark Man smiling a wicked grin in my direction.
“My, what a mess you made back there,” he laughed…
-----------------
Ok, that’s about all I have time for at the moment. I will write more after I have my dinner (non-human, I swear)OR maybe tomorrow night. The next part of my tale is the hardest part to tell and I am not sure if I have it in me tonight.
Sleep tight dear mortals!
-Mike
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
December 22, 2009
Been away a while now...
will write a full entry soon...
and will fill you on details of my abscence...
-Mike
will write a full entry soon...
and will fill you on details of my abscence...
-Mike
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
December 8, 2009
Tonight is the first night I feel up to writing. After the experience of the other night, I was completely out of sorts. I felt confused about what I had done. On one hand, I felt that I had only done what was natural to me and my new..."state." On the other hand, I also have this lingering sense of guilt. I had taken the life of a human being. I still am not sure what I feel. I do think the fact that he was a criminal did help. If I am going to kill humans for my meals, i might as well get rid of the vermin. But did I have the right to make that judgement call? and for that matter, had the Dark Man been honest when he told me the man was a criminal? I had no idea.
Physically, drinking the blood of that man gave me the greatest sense of strength, power and energy of my life (and death). That was days ago and I haven't had to feed since. Tonight is the first night that I am going out to hunt. Until I figure out my true feelings about taking the blood of humans, I am going to stick to the rabbits.
In other news, money is starting to run dangerously low. I need to find a job or another way to make money at the very least. Christmas is coming up and I haven't even begun the shopping. This doesnt even take into consideration that I need money for rent and bills. And with the whirlwind of the past couple days, I haven't gotten any further in figuring out how to visit my family for the holidays. It's less than a month away!
Writing this entry has just made me exhausted. I am going to go feed and then try to get something done tonight.
-Mike
Physically, drinking the blood of that man gave me the greatest sense of strength, power and energy of my life (and death). That was days ago and I haven't had to feed since. Tonight is the first night that I am going out to hunt. Until I figure out my true feelings about taking the blood of humans, I am going to stick to the rabbits.
In other news, money is starting to run dangerously low. I need to find a job or another way to make money at the very least. Christmas is coming up and I haven't even begun the shopping. This doesnt even take into consideration that I need money for rent and bills. And with the whirlwind of the past couple days, I haven't gotten any further in figuring out how to visit my family for the holidays. It's less than a month away!
Writing this entry has just made me exhausted. I am going to go feed and then try to get something done tonight.
-Mike
Saturday, December 5, 2009
December 5, 2009
Tonight has been an interesting night! I saw him again! The Dark Man who turned me into this! It was as if he was waiting on me, watching me. It was quite an experience. But let's take one thing at a time.
Earlier tonight (late yesterday), I was on a phone call at work. Some old man was complaining to me about the speed of his Internet connection. I had checked the speed multiple times and the tests in the modem were coming back just fine. I am sure he was just upset he couldn't download pornography quickly enough. About 2/3 of the way through the call, I decided that even with my new powers, I couldn't do this job anymore. I hung up on the now cantankerous, and now raving, old fart and walked over to my supervisor's desk.
I stared him in the eyes until I could feel that he wasn't going anywhere. I told him in no uncertain terms that I had to quit the job. I informed him that he would give glowing recommendations to any company that called to inquire about me. I even took a moment to thank him for re-hiring me and threw in a couple self esteem boosting thoughts as a token of my esteem.
By the time I walked away (with two weeks pay, mind you), he was sitting dazed yet goofily content at his desk. I knew he'd be floating on a cloud for days. I grabbed my things from my desk and made my way to the door. As i approached the door, I knew something was wrong. Someone was waiting for me. I stepped out into the cold air and looked around the almost empty parking lot. There seemed to be no one there. I strode to my car and was just putting my key to the lock when I felt his presence behind me. I dropped my keys and my bag as I whirled around.
There he stood. 30 feet away from me. I could see his eyes glinting in the darkness. His pale skin shining against the black night. I stood there, transfixed, for what felt like an hour. I couldn't move. Thoughts whirled through my head. This was the man who made me into what I am. I didn't know whether to lash out at him in anger, or run to hug him. I just knew suddenly that I had to know...all of it! How? Why? I wanted to know all of it!
I took a step forward finally and he was suddenly gone! Dashing through the darkness, getting further and further away from me. He ran faster than any normal human could (however, not near as fast as the movies would have you believe). I began to run after him, I chased him across the parking lot,two empty fields a car dealership, and under the highway overpass. I was gaining on him. Getting closer with every stride.
I lost track of where I was. Suddenly I was running through the suburbs, the houses growing further and further apart. I was now on the outskirts of town and getting further form the lights. I could see him in front of me, still moving through the darkness. I pushed myself harder, my legs moving faster than they ever had. I was now only a few yards behind him. Then I was a mere two feet behind him! I was going to catch him!
Suddenly, he stopped in turned in a flash! I wasn't ready for it and ran right into his fist which was extended toward me. I felt my nose shatter against his icy palm. I felt my head blast backwards as my body kept moving forward. I felt my legs leave the ground and then suddenly I was on my back in the dirt of a field.
My vision went black as my head hit the earth. When I opened them, he was kneeling above me. He was reaching toward my face. I started and tried to pull me away but then something in his eyes made me stop. I was mesmerized by his eyes as he placed one hand on each side of my nose and then...CRACK!...he snapped my nose back into place. Pain shot through my body and then suddenly began to dissipate. I felt the nose healing, the swelling decreasing.
I looked up at him. He didn't smile. He didn't speak. He just stared at me. My eyes bore into his. I felt as if I could see the stars in his eyes. Never before had I seen such deep eyes. Or were they really just empty?
All of a sudden he had stood and stepped away from me. I sat up on the ground. "Who are you?" I asked. He stared at me for a moment and then stepped away. He didn't answer. He turned away from me and looked into the darkness. There was a dreadful silence. I heard the crickets chirping and something moved in the bushes nearby. I repeated my question.
He never turned around, but finally he spoke. He did not answer the question, instead I heard, "You are very fast. And strong. But you cannot grow stronger feeding off the blood of rabbits." Advice? He came to me to give me advice? Surely there was more.
He moved away from me and into the bushes nearby. I instinctively knew he did not want me to follow. I stayed on the ground. Moments later he stepped out of the foliage. He was now carrying something. It was white and misshapen. He sat it down in front of me. I realized that it was something covered in a white sheet. "Go ahead," he said.
I moved my hand toward the sheet and whipped it back. And there on the ground before me was a man. Probably in his mid-thirties. He was wearing jeans and a white tee shirt. His face was rough and unclean. I asked if he was dead. The Dark Man replied that he was merely unconscious.
"You must feed on human blood to gain all the power you can," he explained to me. I shook my head in disbelief. He wanted me to kill this innocent man! As if he had read my mind, he continued, "He is no innocent. He is a killer. Not but two days ago, he murdered a woman and buried her body only a mile from this very spot." I looked at him, the questions I had displayed on my face.
"Everyone is nervous their first time," he explained, "criminals make it easier." He smiled as he said the last and then leaned down and exposed the man's neck. Even in the moonlight I could see the blood rushing beneath the skin. I began to smell the scent, feel it pull me in. But could I trust the Dark Man?
This was the last thought I had as my fangs extended and I sank them into the man's neck. When I stopped drinking, the Dark Man was gone and I was alone. I didn't care at the moment. The feeling was indescribable. This was what true bliss was. My body felt alive. I could feel every fiber in my body bursting with health. This was the most amazing feeling I had ever felt. I was high. I stood and looked around into the darkness.
Everything seemed sharper and my mind was more focused than ever before as I raced back to my car. I couldn't believe I had done it. I had tasted human blood for the first time...
...and I loved it.
-Mike
Earlier tonight (late yesterday), I was on a phone call at work. Some old man was complaining to me about the speed of his Internet connection. I had checked the speed multiple times and the tests in the modem were coming back just fine. I am sure he was just upset he couldn't download pornography quickly enough. About 2/3 of the way through the call, I decided that even with my new powers, I couldn't do this job anymore. I hung up on the now cantankerous, and now raving, old fart and walked over to my supervisor's desk.
I stared him in the eyes until I could feel that he wasn't going anywhere. I told him in no uncertain terms that I had to quit the job. I informed him that he would give glowing recommendations to any company that called to inquire about me. I even took a moment to thank him for re-hiring me and threw in a couple self esteem boosting thoughts as a token of my esteem.
By the time I walked away (with two weeks pay, mind you), he was sitting dazed yet goofily content at his desk. I knew he'd be floating on a cloud for days. I grabbed my things from my desk and made my way to the door. As i approached the door, I knew something was wrong. Someone was waiting for me. I stepped out into the cold air and looked around the almost empty parking lot. There seemed to be no one there. I strode to my car and was just putting my key to the lock when I felt his presence behind me. I dropped my keys and my bag as I whirled around.
There he stood. 30 feet away from me. I could see his eyes glinting in the darkness. His pale skin shining against the black night. I stood there, transfixed, for what felt like an hour. I couldn't move. Thoughts whirled through my head. This was the man who made me into what I am. I didn't know whether to lash out at him in anger, or run to hug him. I just knew suddenly that I had to know...all of it! How? Why? I wanted to know all of it!
I took a step forward finally and he was suddenly gone! Dashing through the darkness, getting further and further away from me. He ran faster than any normal human could (however, not near as fast as the movies would have you believe). I began to run after him, I chased him across the parking lot,two empty fields a car dealership, and under the highway overpass. I was gaining on him. Getting closer with every stride.
I lost track of where I was. Suddenly I was running through the suburbs, the houses growing further and further apart. I was now on the outskirts of town and getting further form the lights. I could see him in front of me, still moving through the darkness. I pushed myself harder, my legs moving faster than they ever had. I was now only a few yards behind him. Then I was a mere two feet behind him! I was going to catch him!
Suddenly, he stopped in turned in a flash! I wasn't ready for it and ran right into his fist which was extended toward me. I felt my nose shatter against his icy palm. I felt my head blast backwards as my body kept moving forward. I felt my legs leave the ground and then suddenly I was on my back in the dirt of a field.
My vision went black as my head hit the earth. When I opened them, he was kneeling above me. He was reaching toward my face. I started and tried to pull me away but then something in his eyes made me stop. I was mesmerized by his eyes as he placed one hand on each side of my nose and then...CRACK!...he snapped my nose back into place. Pain shot through my body and then suddenly began to dissipate. I felt the nose healing, the swelling decreasing.
I looked up at him. He didn't smile. He didn't speak. He just stared at me. My eyes bore into his. I felt as if I could see the stars in his eyes. Never before had I seen such deep eyes. Or were they really just empty?
All of a sudden he had stood and stepped away from me. I sat up on the ground. "Who are you?" I asked. He stared at me for a moment and then stepped away. He didn't answer. He turned away from me and looked into the darkness. There was a dreadful silence. I heard the crickets chirping and something moved in the bushes nearby. I repeated my question.
He never turned around, but finally he spoke. He did not answer the question, instead I heard, "You are very fast. And strong. But you cannot grow stronger feeding off the blood of rabbits." Advice? He came to me to give me advice? Surely there was more.
He moved away from me and into the bushes nearby. I instinctively knew he did not want me to follow. I stayed on the ground. Moments later he stepped out of the foliage. He was now carrying something. It was white and misshapen. He sat it down in front of me. I realized that it was something covered in a white sheet. "Go ahead," he said.
I moved my hand toward the sheet and whipped it back. And there on the ground before me was a man. Probably in his mid-thirties. He was wearing jeans and a white tee shirt. His face was rough and unclean. I asked if he was dead. The Dark Man replied that he was merely unconscious.
"You must feed on human blood to gain all the power you can," he explained to me. I shook my head in disbelief. He wanted me to kill this innocent man! As if he had read my mind, he continued, "He is no innocent. He is a killer. Not but two days ago, he murdered a woman and buried her body only a mile from this very spot." I looked at him, the questions I had displayed on my face.
"Everyone is nervous their first time," he explained, "criminals make it easier." He smiled as he said the last and then leaned down and exposed the man's neck. Even in the moonlight I could see the blood rushing beneath the skin. I began to smell the scent, feel it pull me in. But could I trust the Dark Man?
This was the last thought I had as my fangs extended and I sank them into the man's neck. When I stopped drinking, the Dark Man was gone and I was alone. I didn't care at the moment. The feeling was indescribable. This was what true bliss was. My body felt alive. I could feel every fiber in my body bursting with health. This was the most amazing feeling I had ever felt. I was high. I stood and looked around into the darkness.
Everything seemed sharper and my mind was more focused than ever before as I raced back to my car. I couldn't believe I had done it. I had tasted human blood for the first time...
...and I loved it.
-Mike
Thursday, December 3, 2009
December 3, 2009
I am sitting at my old desk right now. I got my job back. It was just as easy as I thought. All I did was walk into the center and walk right up to my supervisors desk. He turned around as I approached and looked up at me with a lack of recognition in his eyes. It took almost five minutes of convincing to make him believe I was the same guy I was weeks back. He was shocked at my transformation.
I made up some excuse about a disease suddenly surfacing after laying dormant in my body my entire life. I told him that it caused the rapid weight loss, the pale skin and, basically, an allergy to the sun. Obviously this would not have worked if I hadn't persuaded him with my eyes. I also convinced him that I was an excellent employee and that I deserved a pay raise to go along with my re-hiring. Not very honest, but I might as well get something out of this deal. After all, I still had to pay rent.
So now, here I am...all powerful, but not powerful enough to get out of the tech support racket. And I had also quickly learned that my powers of persuasion only worked with eye contact. However, my voice did seem to calm the most angry of customers.
I have about 3 hours of work left, which is a good thing, because I am famished. I didn't think that it would be a good idea to come back to work with blood dripping from my lips.
One interesting thing about working the new shift is that I get to pass Scott Green in the hall as he leaves for the day. After not seeing him for weeks, I had this image in my mind of him being a sex god, the most beautiful thing on the planet. But with my "new eyes" I now saw him as merely passable. His eyes were spaced strangely and he had much worse skin than I had originally thought. I could see every little blemish and bump from 10 feet away. And as he walked, I saw small flecks of dandruff falling from his hair. And what was even worse was the smell of his breath as I passed by him. He smiled at me as we passed (crooked teeth with pepper wedged between) and I smelled tuna fish and soured milk. For one moment, I almost wished that I had my human eyes back.
Well, my break is up so I am going back to work. Will see you tomorrow or next day!
-Mike
I made up some excuse about a disease suddenly surfacing after laying dormant in my body my entire life. I told him that it caused the rapid weight loss, the pale skin and, basically, an allergy to the sun. Obviously this would not have worked if I hadn't persuaded him with my eyes. I also convinced him that I was an excellent employee and that I deserved a pay raise to go along with my re-hiring. Not very honest, but I might as well get something out of this deal. After all, I still had to pay rent.
So now, here I am...all powerful, but not powerful enough to get out of the tech support racket. And I had also quickly learned that my powers of persuasion only worked with eye contact. However, my voice did seem to calm the most angry of customers.
I have about 3 hours of work left, which is a good thing, because I am famished. I didn't think that it would be a good idea to come back to work with blood dripping from my lips.
One interesting thing about working the new shift is that I get to pass Scott Green in the hall as he leaves for the day. After not seeing him for weeks, I had this image in my mind of him being a sex god, the most beautiful thing on the planet. But with my "new eyes" I now saw him as merely passable. His eyes were spaced strangely and he had much worse skin than I had originally thought. I could see every little blemish and bump from 10 feet away. And as he walked, I saw small flecks of dandruff falling from his hair. And what was even worse was the smell of his breath as I passed by him. He smiled at me as we passed (crooked teeth with pepper wedged between) and I smelled tuna fish and soured milk. For one moment, I almost wished that I had my human eyes back.
Well, my break is up so I am going back to work. Will see you tomorrow or next day!
-Mike
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
December 1, 2009
I apologize for not writing for a few days. I seem to be going through some weird transformation process. After first learning of what I was, I was terrified. Then excited. And then, a couple of days ago, I began feeling an odd sense of depression. I don't think it really hit me until the day after Thanksgiving.
My mother called to wish me a Happy Thanksgiving. I talked to her for a few minutes, discussing how everyone in the family was doing, the apparantly delicious meal she prepared, and my sister's pregnancy. After I hung up the phone, I sat down at the table with Dustin. He had prepared a Thanksgiving feast, which I unfortunately HAD to decline. As he ate his meal, I talked about my family and reminisced about holidays past.
And thats when the depression started. I really missed them. But there was no simple way to explain the lack of appetite (for regular food anyways) and the aversion to daytime. I realized then that I may never see them again. And they would never know that I hadn't abandoned them or run off with some rich millionaire without ever contacting them.
I don't want to hurt them and yet I know that I cannot tell this secret to them. My mother would say I was posessed by the devil and my nephews would not be allowed near me anymore. I loved my family and that connection had not been lost with my "death."
Early that morning I made the decision to test this curse. I wandered out in the minutes before the sun emerged from the horizon. I stalked a small brown bunny into the woods behind my apartment. I quickly drained it and then another...and another. I soon had three carcasses next to me. I felt a surge of energy and walked out of the woods and sat on my patio to await the sun.
For some reason, I thought that if I could fill myself with blood then maybe my body would regenerate so quickly that I would not be burnt by the sun. I sat in wait patiently. I saw my neighbor leave for work. I saw the sprinklers come on at the driving range across the street. I heard the morning news issuing forth from every tv screen in my building.
And then I saw the sun. I could feel a tingle on my skin. Not too bad, I thought. The sun rose higher. My skin had a slight burning sensation. I can handle this, I said to myself. But then the pain grew intense. I looked down at my arms to see that the skin had started to turn brown and dry. Then as the pain began to become unbearable I saw my skin begin to turn black and flake off. It was like watching a piece of paper being burnt with a lighter from underneath. The burnt flakes began floating away from my body.
With every ounce of strength I could muster, I ran toward the door to my apartment. I burst in and fled for the darkness of my room. I collapsed onto the bed and passed out.
The next night I awoke to find that my skin, while still slightly discolored had mostly healed. I knew right then and there that I would never see them in the light of day. And it was right then and there that I was determined to make sure that, even if at night, I could see them again. I knew I couldn't bear eternity without saying goodbye.
My mother called to wish me a Happy Thanksgiving. I talked to her for a few minutes, discussing how everyone in the family was doing, the apparantly delicious meal she prepared, and my sister's pregnancy. After I hung up the phone, I sat down at the table with Dustin. He had prepared a Thanksgiving feast, which I unfortunately HAD to decline. As he ate his meal, I talked about my family and reminisced about holidays past.
And thats when the depression started. I really missed them. But there was no simple way to explain the lack of appetite (for regular food anyways) and the aversion to daytime. I realized then that I may never see them again. And they would never know that I hadn't abandoned them or run off with some rich millionaire without ever contacting them.
I don't want to hurt them and yet I know that I cannot tell this secret to them. My mother would say I was posessed by the devil and my nephews would not be allowed near me anymore. I loved my family and that connection had not been lost with my "death."
Early that morning I made the decision to test this curse. I wandered out in the minutes before the sun emerged from the horizon. I stalked a small brown bunny into the woods behind my apartment. I quickly drained it and then another...and another. I soon had three carcasses next to me. I felt a surge of energy and walked out of the woods and sat on my patio to await the sun.
For some reason, I thought that if I could fill myself with blood then maybe my body would regenerate so quickly that I would not be burnt by the sun. I sat in wait patiently. I saw my neighbor leave for work. I saw the sprinklers come on at the driving range across the street. I heard the morning news issuing forth from every tv screen in my building.
And then I saw the sun. I could feel a tingle on my skin. Not too bad, I thought. The sun rose higher. My skin had a slight burning sensation. I can handle this, I said to myself. But then the pain grew intense. I looked down at my arms to see that the skin had started to turn brown and dry. Then as the pain began to become unbearable I saw my skin begin to turn black and flake off. It was like watching a piece of paper being burnt with a lighter from underneath. The burnt flakes began floating away from my body.
With every ounce of strength I could muster, I ran toward the door to my apartment. I burst in and fled for the darkness of my room. I collapsed onto the bed and passed out.
The next night I awoke to find that my skin, while still slightly discolored had mostly healed. I knew right then and there that I would never see them in the light of day. And it was right then and there that I was determined to make sure that, even if at night, I could see them again. I knew I couldn't bear eternity without saying goodbye.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
November 24-26, 2009
As I begin typing this entry, the sun is just threatening to break over the horizon. Which means I only have a few minutes to write before I have to pin the blanket back over my window and go to sleep. It's now officially Thanksgiving and I guess even people who are doomed to immortal life have something to be thankful for.
So here is a list:
-I am thankful I have two best friends that are willing to keep the biggest secret of their lives, and of mine.
-I am thankful I have a family who understands and believes my excuse that I can't make it home for the holidays because I have to work (I couldn't very well go home and only come out of my bedroom at night, now could I?)
-I am thankful that the movies got it wrong and I can actually see my reflection, look upon crucifixes and stand the smell of garlic.
-I am thankful that I managed to suck the blood out of a rabbit on the apartment complex playground and not be seen by any of my neighbors.
Which I guess should bring me to a confession. I really tried to stick with the diet of cold blood from pre-packaged meat. But it was disgusting. Do you realize how gross it was to have to skim meat particles and fat off the top of my glass at every meal. I mean, it's gross enough that I have to drink blood as it is, but that was pushing the boundries of no way-ness.
So what have I been doing? No, I haven't been draining joggers in the woods or anything. However, I feel that the rabbit population is going to dwindle in the area soon. Good thing I only have to feed once a night. The only downside to drinking the blood of a rabbit is that I sometimes have to pick fur out of my teeth. Definitely not fun, but not as bad as the "skimming."
I haven't told Dustin or Cheryl about the rabbits. Cheryl is not a vegetarian but I am sure she would place what I am doing pretty high on the animal cruelty scale. Dustin would probably just be grossed out by it all. I also didn't tell them about my trip downtown the other night. I figured that would just be stupid.
And what I did was stupid and reckless. I need to learn to get the thirst under control before I go out again. Which means I need to start being around small groups of people and then move on up to larger groups slowly. Hopefully I can deal with this sooner rather than later.
So whats coming up ahead in the next week or so? Well, first I have to find a suitable and believable excuse for why I have to miss Christmas as well. Mom is already asking about my days off for the holiday. I have to call my job and see if I can get my job back AND switch to night shift. I am sure that with my new abilities that won't be a problem. And last but certainly not least, I have to figure what to tell Jessie when he comes into town next week. How can I make sure he doesn't get suspicious that I only wake up after dark?
Any suggestions would be great. Feel free to leave me a comment below with your ideas.
The suns about to come up. The birds are chirping. Happy Thanksgiving all you mortals.
-Mike
So here is a list:
-I am thankful I have two best friends that are willing to keep the biggest secret of their lives, and of mine.
-I am thankful I have a family who understands and believes my excuse that I can't make it home for the holidays because I have to work (I couldn't very well go home and only come out of my bedroom at night, now could I?)
-I am thankful that the movies got it wrong and I can actually see my reflection, look upon crucifixes and stand the smell of garlic.
-I am thankful that I managed to suck the blood out of a rabbit on the apartment complex playground and not be seen by any of my neighbors.
Which I guess should bring me to a confession. I really tried to stick with the diet of cold blood from pre-packaged meat. But it was disgusting. Do you realize how gross it was to have to skim meat particles and fat off the top of my glass at every meal. I mean, it's gross enough that I have to drink blood as it is, but that was pushing the boundries of no way-ness.
So what have I been doing? No, I haven't been draining joggers in the woods or anything. However, I feel that the rabbit population is going to dwindle in the area soon. Good thing I only have to feed once a night. The only downside to drinking the blood of a rabbit is that I sometimes have to pick fur out of my teeth. Definitely not fun, but not as bad as the "skimming."
I haven't told Dustin or Cheryl about the rabbits. Cheryl is not a vegetarian but I am sure she would place what I am doing pretty high on the animal cruelty scale. Dustin would probably just be grossed out by it all. I also didn't tell them about my trip downtown the other night. I figured that would just be stupid.
And what I did was stupid and reckless. I need to learn to get the thirst under control before I go out again. Which means I need to start being around small groups of people and then move on up to larger groups slowly. Hopefully I can deal with this sooner rather than later.
So whats coming up ahead in the next week or so? Well, first I have to find a suitable and believable excuse for why I have to miss Christmas as well. Mom is already asking about my days off for the holiday. I have to call my job and see if I can get my job back AND switch to night shift. I am sure that with my new abilities that won't be a problem. And last but certainly not least, I have to figure what to tell Jessie when he comes into town next week. How can I make sure he doesn't get suspicious that I only wake up after dark?
Any suggestions would be great. Feel free to leave me a comment below with your ideas.
The suns about to come up. The birds are chirping. Happy Thanksgiving all you mortals.
-Mike
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
November 23, 2009
Last night was the hardest night I have had since all of this started. It was worse than all the throwing up. Worse than the night of trial and error suicide. It was worse than realizing what I was.
Last night was the night I lost control for the first time. Here's the story:
I had decided that Dustin and Cheryl couldn't spend all night up with me every night. I needed to learn to do this by myself. So after they went to bed, I got dressed in my nicest and newest black clothes. I styled my hair. I brushed my teeth. And then I made my first mistake. I got in my car and drove down to sixth street. It was a superficial trip, really. I wanted to know what it felt like to be the hottest one in the room. To be wanted by everyone, male or female.
I found the valet parking for a resturant that I had no intention of dining at. I gave the valet my keys and told him to park it close and that there would be no charge. One look into my eyes and he didn't even consider disobeying. I wandered the street. Not being a weeknight, the notorious party street was only slightly busy. Which was lucky for me, because anytime I got among a crowd of people my head began to pound with the sounds of their heartbeats and my senses tingled as I smelled the blood in their veins.
I avoided crowds at all costs. I thought about strolling down to the Market District, the gay party spot of Austin. I could catch the eye of some young hot thing and make him mine for the night. And just when he thought he had me, I would reject him. Payback for making the nerdy fat boy feel hopeless for so many years. But no, I wanted more of a challange.
I stayed on sixth street. I watched as drunken frat boys flirted with girls and poured copious amounts of liquor down their throats. I listened to their heartbeats as they approached girls much more beautiful than they were. I heard the beats quicken, racing with the adrenaline and nervous jitters.
Finally, at the most heterosexual of dive bars, I found the man. He was tall, lean but muscled, blonde hair, blue eyes. he had a backward cap on. His polo shirt was tight against his pecs and his jeans were slung low on his hips, giving just a peek of his boxer briefs. I sat across from him and his "boys" and kept my eyes on them.
I watched him for about fifteen minutes. I wanted to be sure he was to be my conquest. I listened with my now superior hearing as he talked about the women he had and how he had made them climax. All this was in much more graphic language. After I was completely sure that he was the one, I willed him to look at me. It took a good ten minutes of concentration but eventually he looked at me. I locked my eyes on his baby blues and concentrated on the stare. He tried to look away, but seemed unable to break our look. After a few minutes of concentration, he left his buddies and walked toward me.
I sat up straight as he walked toward me. Why was I nervous? I was in control! Finally! He seemed uncomfortable as he walked towards me. His friends looked on in confusion as he moved toward me. It seemed he was moving in slow motion. I was elated! My very own heterosexual Abercrombie model was on his way to me. He finally reached my table and extended his hand. I took it and he told me his name was Ben. I told him my name and asked him to join me. He sat at the table nervously.
"Do you want to join us? I saw you watching us," he asked me. I smiled slightly and looked him directly in the eye. I replied "Actually, I would really like a beer. And I would like it if you would join me for the rest of the evening. Would you like that?"
I stared at him hard, never breaking the look. I concentrated hard. I willed him to accept. Of course, he did. And within a few moments he was sitting next to me at my table. A beer was open in front of me. I don't think he even noticed that I never sipped from it. He glanced at his friends, as if helpless and they seemed shocked and confused, almost angry. I asked him about his life. He was 22 and played football for the University of Texas. He was studying history but really wanted to be a professional football player. He told me about his girlfriend and how he had never been unfaithful, even though he lied to his friends about his many conquests.
Eventually his friends got up to move on to another bar. They stopped by and I introduced myself to them. They asked if he was coming and he looked at me. I willed it and he told them he would rather stay with me for the rest of the evening. They left scratching their heads in disbelief.
After that, I moved quickly. In less than ten minutes we were out of the bar. He was stumbling along beside me. I pulled him into a dark alleyway and pushed him against the wall. "You want me, don't you?" I asked him. I didnt even have to will it anymore. He DID want me. I could feel his bodies response to me and I was certain of what he wanted.
I crushed my lips against his. We kissed for the longest time. Soon, he had wrapped his muscular arms around my waist and pressed his body against mine. I could feel his heartbeat against my skin. And then it happened. The urge came upon me. I could smell the blood in the veins of his throat. My ears were filled with the sound of his pulse. The smell grew strong and I felt my lips travel down to his throat. This was more than I had intended.
And for the first time, felt something sharp push against my lips. I reached up with a free hand and felt them. The fangs. They had come out. And then as if I couldn't control myself I opened my mouth and pressed it against his neck. This isn't what I wanted. As i began to suck, he began to moan softly and I felt the tip of my fangs push against his skin. It wasn't broken yet. I HAD to stop! His hands pulled against my body, groping me and scratching at my back.
It took all the will I had. I pulled away from him and stumbled backward across the alley to the other wall. The urge was still there and it was growing. "Whats wrong?" he asked. I responded with a lame excuse about having to leave and began to walk down the alley. The urge was stronger than ever before and his heartbeat was about to burst my eardrums. "Don't leave. I want to go with you." he pleaded. I pulled a pen out of my back pocket and hurried to him. It was painful to be close to him. I wrote my cell phone number on his hand. He tried to kiss me again but I pushed him away, too roughly it seemed. He fell to the ground. I backed away quickly. I turned and walked out of the alley and I heard him mumble, "I'll call you."
I raced to the car, the smell of blood all around me. I had never wanted something so bad. My stomach was on fire and I couldn't stop the pounding in my ears. The valet took forever to get my car it seemed although it could not have been more than 3 minutes. I got in and drove as fast as I could back home. When I pulled into the parking lot, I sat in my car and waited for my fangs to descend from wherever they had come from. But it never happened. My stomach was still hurting. I got out of the car. I had to drink blood now. Any blood. The meat in my freezer would have to suffice.
And then I saw it. The tiny pink eyed, white, fluffy bunny. I could smell its blood. It even SMELLED warm. I could hear its tiny heartbeat. I could almost see the blood beneath its fur. My legs moved of their own accord. I leaped over the sand pit. I dove over the merry-go-round and seemed to land on my feet within a foot of the bunny. I grabbed it and before I knew what happened. I sank my teeth in to its flesh.
It squirmed and kicked in my hands as I drained it. When I could no longer feel the blood rushing into my mouth, I threw the carcass away from me. It landed in the grass about fifty feet away. I lay back on the grass and felt the blood fill my body. It seemd to fill me from my toes all the way to my brain. The stars above me seemed to flash. All the world was right. I felt more alive than I had since the night I recieved the kiss of death from the dark man.
I thought to myself...this is going to be a problem.
-Mike
Last night was the night I lost control for the first time. Here's the story:
I had decided that Dustin and Cheryl couldn't spend all night up with me every night. I needed to learn to do this by myself. So after they went to bed, I got dressed in my nicest and newest black clothes. I styled my hair. I brushed my teeth. And then I made my first mistake. I got in my car and drove down to sixth street. It was a superficial trip, really. I wanted to know what it felt like to be the hottest one in the room. To be wanted by everyone, male or female.
I found the valet parking for a resturant that I had no intention of dining at. I gave the valet my keys and told him to park it close and that there would be no charge. One look into my eyes and he didn't even consider disobeying. I wandered the street. Not being a weeknight, the notorious party street was only slightly busy. Which was lucky for me, because anytime I got among a crowd of people my head began to pound with the sounds of their heartbeats and my senses tingled as I smelled the blood in their veins.
I avoided crowds at all costs. I thought about strolling down to the Market District, the gay party spot of Austin. I could catch the eye of some young hot thing and make him mine for the night. And just when he thought he had me, I would reject him. Payback for making the nerdy fat boy feel hopeless for so many years. But no, I wanted more of a challange.
I stayed on sixth street. I watched as drunken frat boys flirted with girls and poured copious amounts of liquor down their throats. I listened to their heartbeats as they approached girls much more beautiful than they were. I heard the beats quicken, racing with the adrenaline and nervous jitters.
Finally, at the most heterosexual of dive bars, I found the man. He was tall, lean but muscled, blonde hair, blue eyes. he had a backward cap on. His polo shirt was tight against his pecs and his jeans were slung low on his hips, giving just a peek of his boxer briefs. I sat across from him and his "boys" and kept my eyes on them.
I watched him for about fifteen minutes. I wanted to be sure he was to be my conquest. I listened with my now superior hearing as he talked about the women he had and how he had made them climax. All this was in much more graphic language. After I was completely sure that he was the one, I willed him to look at me. It took a good ten minutes of concentration but eventually he looked at me. I locked my eyes on his baby blues and concentrated on the stare. He tried to look away, but seemed unable to break our look. After a few minutes of concentration, he left his buddies and walked toward me.
I sat up straight as he walked toward me. Why was I nervous? I was in control! Finally! He seemed uncomfortable as he walked towards me. His friends looked on in confusion as he moved toward me. It seemed he was moving in slow motion. I was elated! My very own heterosexual Abercrombie model was on his way to me. He finally reached my table and extended his hand. I took it and he told me his name was Ben. I told him my name and asked him to join me. He sat at the table nervously.
"Do you want to join us? I saw you watching us," he asked me. I smiled slightly and looked him directly in the eye. I replied "Actually, I would really like a beer. And I would like it if you would join me for the rest of the evening. Would you like that?"
I stared at him hard, never breaking the look. I concentrated hard. I willed him to accept. Of course, he did. And within a few moments he was sitting next to me at my table. A beer was open in front of me. I don't think he even noticed that I never sipped from it. He glanced at his friends, as if helpless and they seemed shocked and confused, almost angry. I asked him about his life. He was 22 and played football for the University of Texas. He was studying history but really wanted to be a professional football player. He told me about his girlfriend and how he had never been unfaithful, even though he lied to his friends about his many conquests.
Eventually his friends got up to move on to another bar. They stopped by and I introduced myself to them. They asked if he was coming and he looked at me. I willed it and he told them he would rather stay with me for the rest of the evening. They left scratching their heads in disbelief.
After that, I moved quickly. In less than ten minutes we were out of the bar. He was stumbling along beside me. I pulled him into a dark alleyway and pushed him against the wall. "You want me, don't you?" I asked him. I didnt even have to will it anymore. He DID want me. I could feel his bodies response to me and I was certain of what he wanted.
I crushed my lips against his. We kissed for the longest time. Soon, he had wrapped his muscular arms around my waist and pressed his body against mine. I could feel his heartbeat against my skin. And then it happened. The urge came upon me. I could smell the blood in the veins of his throat. My ears were filled with the sound of his pulse. The smell grew strong and I felt my lips travel down to his throat. This was more than I had intended.
And for the first time, felt something sharp push against my lips. I reached up with a free hand and felt them. The fangs. They had come out. And then as if I couldn't control myself I opened my mouth and pressed it against his neck. This isn't what I wanted. As i began to suck, he began to moan softly and I felt the tip of my fangs push against his skin. It wasn't broken yet. I HAD to stop! His hands pulled against my body, groping me and scratching at my back.
It took all the will I had. I pulled away from him and stumbled backward across the alley to the other wall. The urge was still there and it was growing. "Whats wrong?" he asked. I responded with a lame excuse about having to leave and began to walk down the alley. The urge was stronger than ever before and his heartbeat was about to burst my eardrums. "Don't leave. I want to go with you." he pleaded. I pulled a pen out of my back pocket and hurried to him. It was painful to be close to him. I wrote my cell phone number on his hand. He tried to kiss me again but I pushed him away, too roughly it seemed. He fell to the ground. I backed away quickly. I turned and walked out of the alley and I heard him mumble, "I'll call you."
I raced to the car, the smell of blood all around me. I had never wanted something so bad. My stomach was on fire and I couldn't stop the pounding in my ears. The valet took forever to get my car it seemed although it could not have been more than 3 minutes. I got in and drove as fast as I could back home. When I pulled into the parking lot, I sat in my car and waited for my fangs to descend from wherever they had come from. But it never happened. My stomach was still hurting. I got out of the car. I had to drink blood now. Any blood. The meat in my freezer would have to suffice.
And then I saw it. The tiny pink eyed, white, fluffy bunny. I could smell its blood. It even SMELLED warm. I could hear its tiny heartbeat. I could almost see the blood beneath its fur. My legs moved of their own accord. I leaped over the sand pit. I dove over the merry-go-round and seemed to land on my feet within a foot of the bunny. I grabbed it and before I knew what happened. I sank my teeth in to its flesh.
It squirmed and kicked in my hands as I drained it. When I could no longer feel the blood rushing into my mouth, I threw the carcass away from me. It landed in the grass about fifty feet away. I lay back on the grass and felt the blood fill my body. It seemd to fill me from my toes all the way to my brain. The stars above me seemed to flash. All the world was right. I felt more alive than I had since the night I recieved the kiss of death from the dark man.
I thought to myself...this is going to be a problem.
-Mike
Monday, November 23, 2009
November 22, 2009
The realization and confession of my new state of being went over pretty well all things considered. My two best friends tried repeatedly to sway from my certainty. Using arguments such as "its not possible" and "there has to be another explanation." I knew better.
Dustin and Cheryl stayed up throughout the night with me. We discussed the pros and cons of my situation. Here is what we came up with:
PROS
-Much better bod.
-Increased strength and stamina (we tested this with push ups. I did 1000 without breaking a sweat or getting tired. I also did all of them in 5 minutes).
-Vampires are sexy right now (those Twilight books and movies have done wonders for the vampire image).
-Most likely I will develop skills such as persuasion and hypnosis.
-Senses are much sharper.
-Likelihood of being injured is close to nil.
-I will save on groceries and restaurants.
-I will live forever.
CONS
-No sunny afternoons at the beach.
-Getting a real job will be a lot harder.
-Constant urge to kill people and drink their blood.
-Disgusting diet (no more key lime pie!?!?!?).
-Seeing my family will be difficult (explaining is not an option).
-I will live FOREVER.
As you can see, the pros outweigh the cons. So I guess overall, I am handling this pretty well.
Earlier tonight, I went outside for the first time. It was like stepping into a brand new world. Everything smelled stronger. My vision was sharper. The slightest breeze was like a million fingers caressing my cheeks. Everything was beautiful and took on a life of its own. I could see the hills and valleys of the moon. I could just barely make out the faces of airplane passengers in the windows as the planes passed across the night sky.
There was one thing that almost proved too much for me. Everything was so alive. I could smell the blood in a tiny white bunny as it hopped across the apartment complex playground. I could smell people from outside the walls of their apartments. It was intoxicating and nauseating all at once.
Finally, Dustin got me into the car and we drove down the street to the shopping center. I was wearing some of Dustin's clothes. They were ill-fitting and hung off me like a tent. We had to get me some new clothes. It was exhilarating buying clothes in smalls and mediums. We had only a few minutes as it was nearing closing. We grabbed basics: jeans, plain tee shirts, dress shirts, slacks, underwear. I even had to get new shoes in one size smaller. I didn't even realize until I was paying that most of the clothes were black.
We piled back in the car and drove to a 24 hour Wal Mart. I filled the cart with pounds upon pounds of meat: steaks, ground beef, chicken, turkey. Pretty much anything with blood in the packaging was fair game. I got an awfully strange look from the cashier as I handed my credit card. What she must have thought! An emaciated, pale young man in clothes two sizes too large was buying nothing but meat. She probably thought I had just gotten off a hunger strike.
She told me the total and my eyes nearly bulged out of my head. Meat is expensive. I need to remember to take "less food expenses" off the list of pros. I handed my card across to her and she swiped it. There was an awful awkward moment when I swore she was going to question me about all the meat. But then she told me my card had been declined.
I should have guessed that it was going to be over budget. I just bought a new wardrobe. I reached for my wallet and pulled out cash. I had two twenties. It was less than half the total. I decided to try something for the first time. I had no idea if it was going to work. I looked her right in the eye. I let my eyes bore into hers and then I said, "That will be enough." She started to argue. I stared harder and repeated the words again. She looked shocked as she put the money in the cash register.
Two minutes later, we walked out of the store. Dustin burst into a peal of laughter the instant we got outside. I was almost as amazed as him that that had worked. I was surprised the movies got so much of it right.
Back at home, we were packing the meat into the freezer when we realized it wouldn't all fit. We still had five pounds of ground chuck that wouldn't fit. I pulled the package to me and told him, "I guess a guys gotta eat."
Two hours later, Dustin had a platter full of hamburgers and I had one cold glass of cow blood.
Immortality damn well better be worth this crap.
I'm gonna go watch Interview With The Vampire. Maybe Louis and Lestat can give me a few pointers.
-Mike
Dustin and Cheryl stayed up throughout the night with me. We discussed the pros and cons of my situation. Here is what we came up with:
PROS
-Much better bod.
-Increased strength and stamina (we tested this with push ups. I did 1000 without breaking a sweat or getting tired. I also did all of them in 5 minutes).
-Vampires are sexy right now (those Twilight books and movies have done wonders for the vampire image).
-Most likely I will develop skills such as persuasion and hypnosis.
-Senses are much sharper.
-Likelihood of being injured is close to nil.
-I will save on groceries and restaurants.
-I will live forever.
CONS
-No sunny afternoons at the beach.
-Getting a real job will be a lot harder.
-Constant urge to kill people and drink their blood.
-Disgusting diet (no more key lime pie!?!?!?).
-Seeing my family will be difficult (explaining is not an option).
-I will live FOREVER.
As you can see, the pros outweigh the cons. So I guess overall, I am handling this pretty well.
Earlier tonight, I went outside for the first time. It was like stepping into a brand new world. Everything smelled stronger. My vision was sharper. The slightest breeze was like a million fingers caressing my cheeks. Everything was beautiful and took on a life of its own. I could see the hills and valleys of the moon. I could just barely make out the faces of airplane passengers in the windows as the planes passed across the night sky.
There was one thing that almost proved too much for me. Everything was so alive. I could smell the blood in a tiny white bunny as it hopped across the apartment complex playground. I could smell people from outside the walls of their apartments. It was intoxicating and nauseating all at once.
Finally, Dustin got me into the car and we drove down the street to the shopping center. I was wearing some of Dustin's clothes. They were ill-fitting and hung off me like a tent. We had to get me some new clothes. It was exhilarating buying clothes in smalls and mediums. We had only a few minutes as it was nearing closing. We grabbed basics: jeans, plain tee shirts, dress shirts, slacks, underwear. I even had to get new shoes in one size smaller. I didn't even realize until I was paying that most of the clothes were black.
We piled back in the car and drove to a 24 hour Wal Mart. I filled the cart with pounds upon pounds of meat: steaks, ground beef, chicken, turkey. Pretty much anything with blood in the packaging was fair game. I got an awfully strange look from the cashier as I handed my credit card. What she must have thought! An emaciated, pale young man in clothes two sizes too large was buying nothing but meat. She probably thought I had just gotten off a hunger strike.
She told me the total and my eyes nearly bulged out of my head. Meat is expensive. I need to remember to take "less food expenses" off the list of pros. I handed my card across to her and she swiped it. There was an awful awkward moment when I swore she was going to question me about all the meat. But then she told me my card had been declined.
I should have guessed that it was going to be over budget. I just bought a new wardrobe. I reached for my wallet and pulled out cash. I had two twenties. It was less than half the total. I decided to try something for the first time. I had no idea if it was going to work. I looked her right in the eye. I let my eyes bore into hers and then I said, "That will be enough." She started to argue. I stared harder and repeated the words again. She looked shocked as she put the money in the cash register.
Two minutes later, we walked out of the store. Dustin burst into a peal of laughter the instant we got outside. I was almost as amazed as him that that had worked. I was surprised the movies got so much of it right.
Back at home, we were packing the meat into the freezer when we realized it wouldn't all fit. We still had five pounds of ground chuck that wouldn't fit. I pulled the package to me and told him, "I guess a guys gotta eat."
Two hours later, Dustin had a platter full of hamburgers and I had one cold glass of cow blood.
Immortality damn well better be worth this crap.
I'm gonna go watch Interview With The Vampire. Maybe Louis and Lestat can give me a few pointers.
-Mike
Sunday, November 22, 2009
November, 20-21, 2009
I think I have finally come to a realization. I don't know why it took such obvious signs for me to finally get it. I am not altogether human. Not quite inhuman, but not quite human. Somewhere in between, maybe. I was feeling so upset the other night that I went straight to bed. I had lost 50 pounds in a weeks time. I couldn't eat and couldn't sleep at night. I was as far into depression as you can get. This realization has everything to do with it. Let me tell you what brought me, finally, to this realization.
The night of the 19th, Thursday, I was so depressed that I decided i would end it. I had started to realize that something not possible was actually happening to me. I was losing weight rapidly and didn't know when it would stop. My stomach was aching, yet I could not eat. Yet somehow through this all, i was still alive. So i decided to end. I took a bottle of pills and downed a whole bottle.
The room went hazy and I lay in bed, waiting to die. But then, something strange happened. I started to retch. And I vomited onto my bed. But it wasn't vomit. Out onto the bed spilled the pills. They were as dry as they had ever been. My vision cleared and I was as good as new.
I wrapped a rope about my throat and tied the other end to the racks in my closet. I bent my knees and felt the rope begin to choke me. I could feel my breath stop. My breathing stopped. But I was still conscious. It was only slightly uncomfortable. I gave up after ten minutes.
And finally, I went to the kitchen, I got the sharpest knife i had and...well, you can guess. I watched in amazement as the blade sliced. I saw the gash. I saw the blood spill onto the hardwood floor of my bathroom. And then, I watched in horror as the cut slowly healed up and the blood stopped flowing.
It was then that I knew that something had happened to me. It was the man from the club. He had done something to me. I was no longer quite human. I couldn't even kill myself. I began to cry and crawled into bed. I lay in a fetal position and cried myself to sleep.
I woke up at 6pm the next day, Friday. I was freezing. I pulled the covers off me and stood next to my bed. As I stretched my arms above my head, I felt my boxer briefs drop to the floor. I looked down. I couldn't believe what I saw. I ran to the mirror to be sure and I felt like I was going to faint. I was half the size I was the night before. I stepped onto the scale. I had lost 50 pounds overnight. 50 pounds!
That's a total loss of 100 pounds. I looked down at my skin. It should have been hanging off of me at this rate, but it was tight and taut against my body. I looked at my stomach. It was flat but had no muscle tone. I started to calm down. If nothing else came of this, I had the body I had always wanted. Well...almost.
I lay on my back on the bedroom floor and began to do crunches. I figured if I was skinny now, I should at least make sure I had tone. It was going to be a long road to abs of steel, better begin now! At least, that's what I thought. I did 20 crunches. I went to the bathroom again and looked in the mirror. My abs...rock hard. You could see the muscles bulging out behind my skin.
This is crazy. I hadn't seen anyone in days. I locked myself in my room and had only been out to let Cheryl in, once. She had been amazed at my transformation but credited with high metabolism plus the no eating thing. I knew I couldn't blame this on high metabolism. I picked up my cell phone and sent two quick text messages. One to Cheryl and one to my roommate Dustin. I told them to be in the living room in an hour and that they should be prepared to be shocked. I also told them not to be frightened. They both immediately texted me back and wanted to know what was wrong. I told them to meet me in the living room and all would be explained.
An hour passed. I texted Cheryl to make sure both of them were ready. When i received an immediate response, I took a towel and wrapped it around my waist (my clothes didn't fit me anymore). I walked into the living room. The reactions were mixed. Cheryl's mouth dropped open and she started to sputter. Her eyes watered and she began to cry. Dustin leapt from the couch and ran across the room to be further from me. He exclaimed quite a few expletives very rapidly.
After they had both calmed down a bit, they began just staring at me. Dustin was the first to speak, asking me if it was really me. When I replied it was, he asked me how this had happened. I told him I didn't know and he began talking about parasites that live in human bodies, tapeworms and such, that fed on the stomach contents and fat of the body, making you rapidly lose weight. I laughed it off.
Cheryl said she wanted to take me to a doctor. I refused and she was pissed! She demanded to now why. I quickly walked into the kitchen and came out with a knife.
They both were across the room now. I remember very clearly what I said. "This is why I can't go to the doctor." and then I slit my wrist open.
Blood ran down my arm. I removed the towel from my waist and stood there, naked, catching the blood in the white towel. Cheryl screamed and rushed toward me. But when she got there she saw it and looked into my eyes. She stumbled back across the room, falling on the floor. I held up my wrist to show it had healed. Dustin was floored. He said "What are you?" I told him very quietly that I didn't know.
After they had calmed down, I finally convinced them to sit at the table with me. I told them everything. About the man at the club, the vomiting, the sunlight and even the suicide attempts. They started to discuss all the possible reasons behind it and I told them that I had one idea but I wanted to do one final test.
I took a raw steak from the freezer. I thawed it in the microwave. I asked Dustin to make me a salad or a sandwich. I told Cheryl to get me a trash can and a glass. After a few minutes we sat at the table again. I had a raw steak in front of me. I had a PB & J sandwich. I had an empty glass. And I had a trash can next to me. They sat and watched as I took a bite of the sandwich. After the first two bites, I paused. I felt it coming. I started heaving into the trash can. There at the bottom lay the two bites of sandwich surrounded in a pool of clear bile. Dustin almost lost it too.
Then they watched in disgust as I picked the steak up, I began to squeeze the steak over the glass. Juicing it like a grapefruit. The blood streamed down into the glass. It wasn't even enough to fill half. Then I looked across the table at my two best friends. I said, "bottoms up" and I chugged the blood. I felt it travel down my throat, I literally felt it hit the pit of my stomach. My body felt warm all over. After the feeling passed, I sat there waiting. I never threw up.
Dustin looked across at me in a mixture of pity, revulsion and excitement. His words were the first spoken: "What the f**k are you?"
I paused and looked across at them and gathered all the strength I could muster and said the words that should have come earlier.
"Guys, I think I'm a vampire."
And that was my realization.
-Mike
The night of the 19th, Thursday, I was so depressed that I decided i would end it. I had started to realize that something not possible was actually happening to me. I was losing weight rapidly and didn't know when it would stop. My stomach was aching, yet I could not eat. Yet somehow through this all, i was still alive. So i decided to end. I took a bottle of pills and downed a whole bottle.
The room went hazy and I lay in bed, waiting to die. But then, something strange happened. I started to retch. And I vomited onto my bed. But it wasn't vomit. Out onto the bed spilled the pills. They were as dry as they had ever been. My vision cleared and I was as good as new.
I wrapped a rope about my throat and tied the other end to the racks in my closet. I bent my knees and felt the rope begin to choke me. I could feel my breath stop. My breathing stopped. But I was still conscious. It was only slightly uncomfortable. I gave up after ten minutes.
And finally, I went to the kitchen, I got the sharpest knife i had and...well, you can guess. I watched in amazement as the blade sliced. I saw the gash. I saw the blood spill onto the hardwood floor of my bathroom. And then, I watched in horror as the cut slowly healed up and the blood stopped flowing.
It was then that I knew that something had happened to me. It was the man from the club. He had done something to me. I was no longer quite human. I couldn't even kill myself. I began to cry and crawled into bed. I lay in a fetal position and cried myself to sleep.
I woke up at 6pm the next day, Friday. I was freezing. I pulled the covers off me and stood next to my bed. As I stretched my arms above my head, I felt my boxer briefs drop to the floor. I looked down. I couldn't believe what I saw. I ran to the mirror to be sure and I felt like I was going to faint. I was half the size I was the night before. I stepped onto the scale. I had lost 50 pounds overnight. 50 pounds!
That's a total loss of 100 pounds. I looked down at my skin. It should have been hanging off of me at this rate, but it was tight and taut against my body. I looked at my stomach. It was flat but had no muscle tone. I started to calm down. If nothing else came of this, I had the body I had always wanted. Well...almost.
I lay on my back on the bedroom floor and began to do crunches. I figured if I was skinny now, I should at least make sure I had tone. It was going to be a long road to abs of steel, better begin now! At least, that's what I thought. I did 20 crunches. I went to the bathroom again and looked in the mirror. My abs...rock hard. You could see the muscles bulging out behind my skin.
This is crazy. I hadn't seen anyone in days. I locked myself in my room and had only been out to let Cheryl in, once. She had been amazed at my transformation but credited with high metabolism plus the no eating thing. I knew I couldn't blame this on high metabolism. I picked up my cell phone and sent two quick text messages. One to Cheryl and one to my roommate Dustin. I told them to be in the living room in an hour and that they should be prepared to be shocked. I also told them not to be frightened. They both immediately texted me back and wanted to know what was wrong. I told them to meet me in the living room and all would be explained.
An hour passed. I texted Cheryl to make sure both of them were ready. When i received an immediate response, I took a towel and wrapped it around my waist (my clothes didn't fit me anymore). I walked into the living room. The reactions were mixed. Cheryl's mouth dropped open and she started to sputter. Her eyes watered and she began to cry. Dustin leapt from the couch and ran across the room to be further from me. He exclaimed quite a few expletives very rapidly.
After they had both calmed down a bit, they began just staring at me. Dustin was the first to speak, asking me if it was really me. When I replied it was, he asked me how this had happened. I told him I didn't know and he began talking about parasites that live in human bodies, tapeworms and such, that fed on the stomach contents and fat of the body, making you rapidly lose weight. I laughed it off.
Cheryl said she wanted to take me to a doctor. I refused and she was pissed! She demanded to now why. I quickly walked into the kitchen and came out with a knife.
They both were across the room now. I remember very clearly what I said. "This is why I can't go to the doctor." and then I slit my wrist open.
Blood ran down my arm. I removed the towel from my waist and stood there, naked, catching the blood in the white towel. Cheryl screamed and rushed toward me. But when she got there she saw it and looked into my eyes. She stumbled back across the room, falling on the floor. I held up my wrist to show it had healed. Dustin was floored. He said "What are you?" I told him very quietly that I didn't know.
After they had calmed down, I finally convinced them to sit at the table with me. I told them everything. About the man at the club, the vomiting, the sunlight and even the suicide attempts. They started to discuss all the possible reasons behind it and I told them that I had one idea but I wanted to do one final test.
I took a raw steak from the freezer. I thawed it in the microwave. I asked Dustin to make me a salad or a sandwich. I told Cheryl to get me a trash can and a glass. After a few minutes we sat at the table again. I had a raw steak in front of me. I had a PB & J sandwich. I had an empty glass. And I had a trash can next to me. They sat and watched as I took a bite of the sandwich. After the first two bites, I paused. I felt it coming. I started heaving into the trash can. There at the bottom lay the two bites of sandwich surrounded in a pool of clear bile. Dustin almost lost it too.
Then they watched in disgust as I picked the steak up, I began to squeeze the steak over the glass. Juicing it like a grapefruit. The blood streamed down into the glass. It wasn't even enough to fill half. Then I looked across the table at my two best friends. I said, "bottoms up" and I chugged the blood. I felt it travel down my throat, I literally felt it hit the pit of my stomach. My body felt warm all over. After the feeling passed, I sat there waiting. I never threw up.
Dustin looked across at me in a mixture of pity, revulsion and excitement. His words were the first spoken: "What the f**k are you?"
I paused and looked across at them and gathered all the strength I could muster and said the words that should have come earlier.
"Guys, I think I'm a vampire."
And that was my realization.
-Mike
Thursday, November 19, 2009
November 19, 2009
Slept all day today.
Cheryl made me dinner (well, dinner for her, breakfast for me). It was right before sundown when I answered the door. I have a blister on my hand where the sun hit it. As for dinner, I ate a rare steak with no problem, but the instant I put salad in my mouth I threw up.
Speaking of, i have now lost a total of 50 pounds. I have come to accept that this is not normal. No sickness can do this to me.
Getting really depressed. Told Cheryl to leave and now I am in my bedroom. I feel so much despair. It's like nothing I ever felt before. I think I might just want to lay in bed until I waste away to nothing.
Going back to bed now.
-Mike
Cheryl made me dinner (well, dinner for her, breakfast for me). It was right before sundown when I answered the door. I have a blister on my hand where the sun hit it. As for dinner, I ate a rare steak with no problem, but the instant I put salad in my mouth I threw up.
Speaking of, i have now lost a total of 50 pounds. I have come to accept that this is not normal. No sickness can do this to me.
Getting really depressed. Told Cheryl to leave and now I am in my bedroom. I feel so much despair. It's like nothing I ever felt before. I think I might just want to lay in bed until I waste away to nothing.
Going back to bed now.
-Mike
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
November 18, 2009
It's sundown and I just woke up. That's crazy. I have never slept this much in my life. This sickness has made my insomnia act up. I can't sleep at all at night. I didnt' go to bed till 5am last night/this morning. And that was so instantaneous. I was wide awake one second and suddenly, my eyes were drooping. I barely had time to turn off the light.
The vomiting has stopped but I can still tell I am sick. I woke up about halfway through the day to go to the restroom. I went to peek out my window and the instant I pulled back the curtain, my entire body just went feverish. It was strange. It's like extreme sensitivity to the sun. I looked up something about that last night. It's called porphyria. Some people get it so bad that their skin blisters and burns. I really hope its not that. I have always been a night owl but I do enjoy going out during the day.
There is one thing that I hesitate to even mention. No one really reads my blog but me, but its still uncomfortable for me to mention. I know everyone would just say I need to go to a doctor. I am sure I need to see one, but...I don't really want to. I mean, as a fat guy, this is a dream! I am not throwing up but somehow I am still losing weight. Now, I am not talking about a litttle weight. I weighed myself on the 17th. I had lost 10 pounds. I weighed myself just a few minutes ago and I have now lost a total of 30 pounds. Thats 20 pounds I lost while I was sleeping. Even depriving myself of food wouldn't cause me to lose weight this fast. My clothes don't fit anymore. I had to borrow my roommates jeans.
Whats wrong with me?
Hopefully, I will get my appetite back soon. This is starting to get a little too weird for me.
-Mike
The vomiting has stopped but I can still tell I am sick. I woke up about halfway through the day to go to the restroom. I went to peek out my window and the instant I pulled back the curtain, my entire body just went feverish. It was strange. It's like extreme sensitivity to the sun. I looked up something about that last night. It's called porphyria. Some people get it so bad that their skin blisters and burns. I really hope its not that. I have always been a night owl but I do enjoy going out during the day.
There is one thing that I hesitate to even mention. No one really reads my blog but me, but its still uncomfortable for me to mention. I know everyone would just say I need to go to a doctor. I am sure I need to see one, but...I don't really want to. I mean, as a fat guy, this is a dream! I am not throwing up but somehow I am still losing weight. Now, I am not talking about a litttle weight. I weighed myself on the 17th. I had lost 10 pounds. I weighed myself just a few minutes ago and I have now lost a total of 30 pounds. Thats 20 pounds I lost while I was sleeping. Even depriving myself of food wouldn't cause me to lose weight this fast. My clothes don't fit anymore. I had to borrow my roommates jeans.
Whats wrong with me?
Hopefully, I will get my appetite back soon. This is starting to get a little too weird for me.
-Mike
Monday, November 16, 2009
November 15-17
I am sick...really sick. Not sure whats going on. That's why I haven't been online in a couple days. I am still pretty weak but was tired of lying in my bed, not sleeping. I can't seem to sleep at night at all anymore. So, I thought I would come online and tell about my night out and complain about being sick.
Saturday night, Jessie was in town and basically dragged me out of my apartment. He got me dressed up in the best clothes I had. He styled my hair and forced me into the car. We drove to downtown Austin to go to the bars. I haven't gone to one in quite a long time. On the way there, I kind of got into the spirit of things and decided to just cut loose. Jessie tends to do that to me. He gets me in a good mood. It's one of his best qualities.
We hit a couple bars on sixth street: Dizzy Rooster, Chuggin Monkey, and Jackalopes. That was fun but what we both wanted to do was dance. So we walked down to the market district to the gay bars. We spent some time at Oil Can Harry's getting nice and liquored up (yet another thing i haven't done in a while) and then headed over to this new gay bar...the name escapes me.
After a couple more drinks we decided to dance. The dance floor was crowded and we were having a great time. I have to say that I have pretty good moves for a big boy. Jessie sure seemed to like them. We started getting really close. I am not sure if it was the liquor or if there was really something happening there.
But then the weirdest thing happened. The guy that was standing outside my work the other day was across the dance floor from me! He wasn't dancing or anything. Just standing there, which I thought was kinda weird. For some reason, that I still don't understand I decided to go ask him why he was looking at me so hard. He just wouldn't stop. I told Jessie I needed to get a drink and so I started walking towards the guy.
It was weird cause he saw me coming and just moved away. I kept walking in that direction and saw him go into the bathroom. I kept following him and eventually cornered him in the bathroom. I guess the alcohol made me feel brave. Up close he was really good looking. Better than Scott even. I knew there was no way he was interested in me. This made me want to know why he was basically stalking me even more. A stall door opened and a guy moved out of the way. I told the guy that I wanted to talk to him and he just moved into the stall. But he left the door open.
There was no way I was going to have sex with some random guy in a bathroom so I went to the doorway and just asked him, point blank, "Are you following me? or am I just crazy?" He just looked at me, didn't say a word. Then next thing I know I am in the stall with him, the door is closed. I guess I should've been thinking about Jessie but...I don't know. I just wanted to kiss this guy. I must have been a lot more drunk than I thought.
The guy actually let me kiss him. Then he got really forceful. He pushed me against the wall and started to kiss down my cheek. He got down to my neck and I pulled him against me. Then all of a sudden, I felt this sharp pain in my neck.
I guess it was about then that I passed out. I don't really remember passing out cause the next thing I knew I was on the nasty floor of this stall and Jessie was above me with a bouncer. They got me onto my feet. I felt amazingly sober all of a sudden. The bouncer asked us to leave.
Jessie got me into the car and drove me home. I was feeling sober but still kind of weak, so immediately when we got home, Jessie put me in bed. I remember him kissing me on the lips before I fell asleep.
The next morning I woke up totally sick to my stomach. I made it to the bathroom just in time to throw up. So much for drinking! While i was huddled on the bathroom floor throwing up into the toilet, Jessie came in and watched over me. It was about that point that I remembered the guy from the bar. I felt horrible. Jessie is such an amazing guy but I couldn't help myself. I don't ever want to drink again.
After throwing up for the first 3 hours of my day, Jessie finally got me into the shower. I started feeling a little better and by the time I stepped out I felt pretty good. I was combing my hair when I saw this weird thing on my neck. It was like a hickie but bigger. I touched it and it was still really tender. I am guessing that was where mystery guy sucked on my neck before I passed out.
I put on a collared shirt to make sure Jessie didn't see it. I figured since it didn't go far I don't really need to mention it to him. Anyways, we aren't dating so I didn't cheat right? (I am really glad I kept this blog secret from friends otherwise I would be screwed.) I do still feel bad about it. I mean Jessie is amazing. I almost feel like I don't deserve him now.
So Sunday went ok until lunchtime. We went out to Roadhouse. They have the best steaks in the world. The freaking cook that day couldnt get my steak rare enough. They probably went through at least 4 steaks before they refused to cook it any rarer. I told them to get a new cook. I guess I was really grumpy from throwing up all day. So lunch sucked but it was fun to just hang out with Jessie.
After lunch, we went to the movies. We had to leave half way through because I started feeling sick again. Maybe a rare steak isnt a good idea after a night of drinking. Ha ha. Jessie got me home and guess what? i was back to throwing up in the toilet all afternoon. About 5pm, Jessie had to leave to start the trek back to Odessa. I managed to pull myself away from the toilet long enough to say goodbye. He kissed me on the cheek when he left. WHY IS HE SO SWEET?
I went to bed that night with absolutely nothing in my stomach. Just couldn't hold anything down, not even water. I couldn't sleep either. I had a horrible headache and my stomach hurt. Just didn't stop hurting so I couldn't sleep. My alarm went off at nine am and I stumbled out of bed and straight to the toilet to throw up.
Threw up for only about 10 minutes so I guess thats an improvement. Guess not having anything in my stomach helped. I finally managed to shower and went to get dressed. I don't know if the throwing up helped with my waistline, but my jeans were really loose today. I had to tighten the belt an extra notch. I guess even binge drinking has its upsides. Ha!
My stomach was still aching and I stepped out of the house to go to work and it hit me. This dizzy feeling and I started getting really hot. I went back in, called my work and said 'no way.' I collapsed back into bed and fell asleep instantly. Didn't actually wake up till about 2 hours ago. I still feel a little nauseous but my fever is gone and the headache is diminished. Hopefully tomorrow I will be up for work. Just hope I can sleep tonight!
So that was my weekend. Started out strong but lost steam at the end. Ha ha. Sorry about the extra long post. Will try to stop combining days so they aren't all this novel length.
-Mike
Saturday night, Jessie was in town and basically dragged me out of my apartment. He got me dressed up in the best clothes I had. He styled my hair and forced me into the car. We drove to downtown Austin to go to the bars. I haven't gone to one in quite a long time. On the way there, I kind of got into the spirit of things and decided to just cut loose. Jessie tends to do that to me. He gets me in a good mood. It's one of his best qualities.
We hit a couple bars on sixth street: Dizzy Rooster, Chuggin Monkey, and Jackalopes. That was fun but what we both wanted to do was dance. So we walked down to the market district to the gay bars. We spent some time at Oil Can Harry's getting nice and liquored up (yet another thing i haven't done in a while) and then headed over to this new gay bar...the name escapes me.
After a couple more drinks we decided to dance. The dance floor was crowded and we were having a great time. I have to say that I have pretty good moves for a big boy. Jessie sure seemed to like them. We started getting really close. I am not sure if it was the liquor or if there was really something happening there.
But then the weirdest thing happened. The guy that was standing outside my work the other day was across the dance floor from me! He wasn't dancing or anything. Just standing there, which I thought was kinda weird. For some reason, that I still don't understand I decided to go ask him why he was looking at me so hard. He just wouldn't stop. I told Jessie I needed to get a drink and so I started walking towards the guy.
It was weird cause he saw me coming and just moved away. I kept walking in that direction and saw him go into the bathroom. I kept following him and eventually cornered him in the bathroom. I guess the alcohol made me feel brave. Up close he was really good looking. Better than Scott even. I knew there was no way he was interested in me. This made me want to know why he was basically stalking me even more. A stall door opened and a guy moved out of the way. I told the guy that I wanted to talk to him and he just moved into the stall. But he left the door open.
There was no way I was going to have sex with some random guy in a bathroom so I went to the doorway and just asked him, point blank, "Are you following me? or am I just crazy?" He just looked at me, didn't say a word. Then next thing I know I am in the stall with him, the door is closed. I guess I should've been thinking about Jessie but...I don't know. I just wanted to kiss this guy. I must have been a lot more drunk than I thought.
The guy actually let me kiss him. Then he got really forceful. He pushed me against the wall and started to kiss down my cheek. He got down to my neck and I pulled him against me. Then all of a sudden, I felt this sharp pain in my neck.
I guess it was about then that I passed out. I don't really remember passing out cause the next thing I knew I was on the nasty floor of this stall and Jessie was above me with a bouncer. They got me onto my feet. I felt amazingly sober all of a sudden. The bouncer asked us to leave.
Jessie got me into the car and drove me home. I was feeling sober but still kind of weak, so immediately when we got home, Jessie put me in bed. I remember him kissing me on the lips before I fell asleep.
The next morning I woke up totally sick to my stomach. I made it to the bathroom just in time to throw up. So much for drinking! While i was huddled on the bathroom floor throwing up into the toilet, Jessie came in and watched over me. It was about that point that I remembered the guy from the bar. I felt horrible. Jessie is such an amazing guy but I couldn't help myself. I don't ever want to drink again.
After throwing up for the first 3 hours of my day, Jessie finally got me into the shower. I started feeling a little better and by the time I stepped out I felt pretty good. I was combing my hair when I saw this weird thing on my neck. It was like a hickie but bigger. I touched it and it was still really tender. I am guessing that was where mystery guy sucked on my neck before I passed out.
I put on a collared shirt to make sure Jessie didn't see it. I figured since it didn't go far I don't really need to mention it to him. Anyways, we aren't dating so I didn't cheat right? (I am really glad I kept this blog secret from friends otherwise I would be screwed.) I do still feel bad about it. I mean Jessie is amazing. I almost feel like I don't deserve him now.
So Sunday went ok until lunchtime. We went out to Roadhouse. They have the best steaks in the world. The freaking cook that day couldnt get my steak rare enough. They probably went through at least 4 steaks before they refused to cook it any rarer. I told them to get a new cook. I guess I was really grumpy from throwing up all day. So lunch sucked but it was fun to just hang out with Jessie.
After lunch, we went to the movies. We had to leave half way through because I started feeling sick again. Maybe a rare steak isnt a good idea after a night of drinking. Ha ha. Jessie got me home and guess what? i was back to throwing up in the toilet all afternoon. About 5pm, Jessie had to leave to start the trek back to Odessa. I managed to pull myself away from the toilet long enough to say goodbye. He kissed me on the cheek when he left. WHY IS HE SO SWEET?
I went to bed that night with absolutely nothing in my stomach. Just couldn't hold anything down, not even water. I couldn't sleep either. I had a horrible headache and my stomach hurt. Just didn't stop hurting so I couldn't sleep. My alarm went off at nine am and I stumbled out of bed and straight to the toilet to throw up.
Threw up for only about 10 minutes so I guess thats an improvement. Guess not having anything in my stomach helped. I finally managed to shower and went to get dressed. I don't know if the throwing up helped with my waistline, but my jeans were really loose today. I had to tighten the belt an extra notch. I guess even binge drinking has its upsides. Ha!
My stomach was still aching and I stepped out of the house to go to work and it hit me. This dizzy feeling and I started getting really hot. I went back in, called my work and said 'no way.' I collapsed back into bed and fell asleep instantly. Didn't actually wake up till about 2 hours ago. I still feel a little nauseous but my fever is gone and the headache is diminished. Hopefully tomorrow I will be up for work. Just hope I can sleep tonight!
So that was my weekend. Started out strong but lost steam at the end. Ha ha. Sorry about the extra long post. Will try to stop combining days so they aren't all this novel length.
-Mike
Saturday, November 14, 2009
November 13 & 14, 2009
(copied from loose leaf paper)
Had a great time hanging out with Jessie tonight. Cheryl and I took him out to a play and out for a couple drinks. Cheryl seems to really dig Jessie and thinks that I should just not worry about guys like Scott anymore. I should just go for the gold with Jessie.
Maybe she is right. I do like him a lot. I feel happy when he is near. He also makes me feel good about myself. Tonight he is taking me out to the bars. I am hoping that Cheryl comes along. She doesn't get out enough. She says that we need "boy time." I am not exactly sure what she means by that.
I am looking forward to the night out. I haven't had one in so long, I barely remember what a crowd looks like. Speaking of, I had better get started on getting ready. We leave in about an hour and I still haven't shaved. I pray that tonight is as awesome as I think its going to be!
-Mike
Had a great time hanging out with Jessie tonight. Cheryl and I took him out to a play and out for a couple drinks. Cheryl seems to really dig Jessie and thinks that I should just not worry about guys like Scott anymore. I should just go for the gold with Jessie.
Maybe she is right. I do like him a lot. I feel happy when he is near. He also makes me feel good about myself. Tonight he is taking me out to the bars. I am hoping that Cheryl comes along. She doesn't get out enough. She says that we need "boy time." I am not exactly sure what she means by that.
I am looking forward to the night out. I haven't had one in so long, I barely remember what a crowd looks like. Speaking of, I had better get started on getting ready. We leave in about an hour and I still haven't shaved. I pray that tonight is as awesome as I think its going to be!
-Mike
Friday, November 13, 2009
November 12, 2009
Well, its just about 3AM, so I thought I would write a quick journal entry and then hit the hay. Work today was marginally better. Calls were easy and then Scott showed up today. Even if he doesn't know who I am, I still enjoy looking at him. He has the bluest eyes I have ever seen. And the most perfect smile. I can't get over it! I just wish I had the nerve to at least say hello to him. He glanced my way a couple times during the day and I had planned to smile at him. Instead, I am sure i looked nauseated and just looked down at my desk. I need to man up!
Anyways, I am a little worried about work because I am behind in my training and can't seem to get it down. I am worried that if I start taking calls for the new service provider I will screw it up and get lots of cancelled tickets. I guess I will just have to take some time out of my weekend to really concentrate on watching the training videos.
After work, a weird thing happened. I came out of the office to the back parking lot and it seemed darker than usual. I guess one of the lights had gone out or something. I started walking to my car and I hear this sound. I turn around and some weird guy was suddenly leaning against the wall right near the door I had come out of. He was very tall but I couldn't make out much more than that. He just stood there and kept his eyes trained on me. I certainly walked faster than ever to my car.
But thats not the weirdest part! I came home and was getting out of my car and I could swear the EXACT same man was sitting under a tree in the playground area. I guess that is silly though. Theres absolutely no way it could be the same guy. But even still, it was creepy. I've probably just been watching too many scary movies again.
Jessie arrives tomorrow mid-morning. I am excited about him coming into town. I am very ready for him to move here! We have been friends for years now and I love being around him. Sometimes I feel like there might be more there, but...oh, I don't know. It's confusing. Maybe its better if I just don't think of my friends that way. But theres just something about the way he smiles at me.
Anyways, he is going to force me out of this coccoon I call an apartment for a night out on the town on Saturday. Part of me is excited because I haven't been downtown to the bars in months. But part of me is scared because...well, because I haven't been downtown to the bars in MONTHS! I am sure he will make sure I have a good time. He always does.
Well, he gets here pretty early so I should head for bed. Still have to clean the apartment before he gets here. Here's hoping that tomorrow will be a better day.
-Mike
Anyways, I am a little worried about work because I am behind in my training and can't seem to get it down. I am worried that if I start taking calls for the new service provider I will screw it up and get lots of cancelled tickets. I guess I will just have to take some time out of my weekend to really concentrate on watching the training videos.
After work, a weird thing happened. I came out of the office to the back parking lot and it seemed darker than usual. I guess one of the lights had gone out or something. I started walking to my car and I hear this sound. I turn around and some weird guy was suddenly leaning against the wall right near the door I had come out of. He was very tall but I couldn't make out much more than that. He just stood there and kept his eyes trained on me. I certainly walked faster than ever to my car.
But thats not the weirdest part! I came home and was getting out of my car and I could swear the EXACT same man was sitting under a tree in the playground area. I guess that is silly though. Theres absolutely no way it could be the same guy. But even still, it was creepy. I've probably just been watching too many scary movies again.
Jessie arrives tomorrow mid-morning. I am excited about him coming into town. I am very ready for him to move here! We have been friends for years now and I love being around him. Sometimes I feel like there might be more there, but...oh, I don't know. It's confusing. Maybe its better if I just don't think of my friends that way. But theres just something about the way he smiles at me.
Anyways, he is going to force me out of this coccoon I call an apartment for a night out on the town on Saturday. Part of me is excited because I haven't been downtown to the bars in months. But part of me is scared because...well, because I haven't been downtown to the bars in MONTHS! I am sure he will make sure I have a good time. He always does.
Well, he gets here pretty early so I should head for bed. Still have to clean the apartment before he gets here. Here's hoping that tomorrow will be a better day.
-Mike
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Nov. 11, 2009
(Copied from loose leaf paper)
Today was an exceedingly boring day. I went to work and stared at a computer screen all day. The work of monkeys, I tell you. I sometimes hate my job. Tech support has got to be one of the worst jobs ever.
To make things worse, he wasn't there today. I did find out his name, however. After some clever searching in the employee directory, I learned the name of the most beautiful man I have ever seen: Scott Green. God, what would he think of me? He'd probably think I was some kind of stalker. He'd start screening his calls and checking his backseat.
Who am I kidding? A man like that would never even notice me. Here I am, 100 lbs. overweight (obese if you really get down to brass tacks), glasses, bad complexion and horrid fashion sense. Guys like Scott have never paid any attention to me.
Cheryl says I should talk to him. I know he'd either laugh at me...or even worse...be really weirded out. I feel so powerless over my life sometimes. I think I can finally, once and for all, say that I am truly unhappy.
-Mike
Today was an exceedingly boring day. I went to work and stared at a computer screen all day. The work of monkeys, I tell you. I sometimes hate my job. Tech support has got to be one of the worst jobs ever.
To make things worse, he wasn't there today. I did find out his name, however. After some clever searching in the employee directory, I learned the name of the most beautiful man I have ever seen: Scott Green. God, what would he think of me? He'd probably think I was some kind of stalker. He'd start screening his calls and checking his backseat.
Who am I kidding? A man like that would never even notice me. Here I am, 100 lbs. overweight (obese if you really get down to brass tacks), glasses, bad complexion and horrid fashion sense. Guys like Scott have never paid any attention to me.
Cheryl says I should talk to him. I know he'd either laugh at me...or even worse...be really weirded out. I feel so powerless over my life sometimes. I think I can finally, once and for all, say that I am truly unhappy.
-Mike
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
