November 15-17

I am sick...really sick. Not sure whats going on. That's why I haven't been online in a couple days. I am still pretty weak but was tired of lying in my bed, not sleeping. I can't seem to sleep at night at all anymore. So, I thought I would come online and tell about my night out and complain about being sick.

Saturday night, Jessie was in town and basically dragged me out of my apartment. He got me dressed up in the best clothes I had. He styled my hair and forced me into the car. We drove to downtown Austin to go to the bars. I haven't gone to one in quite a long time. On the way there, I kind of got into the spirit of things and decided to just cut loose. Jessie tends to do that to me. He gets me in a good mood. It's one of his best qualities.

We hit a couple bars on sixth street: Dizzy Rooster, Chuggin Monkey, and Jackalopes. That was fun but what we both wanted to do was dance. So we walked down to the market district to the gay bars. We spent some time at Oil Can Harry's getting nice and liquored up (yet another thing i haven't done in a while) and then headed over to this new gay bar...the name escapes me.

After a couple more drinks we decided to dance. The dance floor was crowded and we were having a great time. I have to say that I have pretty good moves for a big boy. Jessie sure seemed to like them. We started getting really close. I am not sure if it was the liquor or if there was really something happening there.

But then the weirdest thing happened. The guy that was standing outside my work the other day was across the dance floor from me! He wasn't dancing or anything. Just standing there, which I thought was kinda weird. For some reason, that I still don't understand I decided to go ask him why he was looking at me so hard. He just wouldn't stop. I told Jessie I needed to get a drink and so I started walking towards the guy.

It was weird cause he saw me coming and just moved away. I kept walking in that direction and saw him go into the bathroom. I kept following him and eventually cornered him in the bathroom. I guess the alcohol made me feel brave. Up close he was really good looking. Better than Scott even. I knew there was no way he was interested in me. This made me want to know why he was basically stalking me even more. A stall door opened and a guy moved out of the way. I told the guy that I wanted to talk to him and he just moved into the stall. But he left the door open.

There was no way I was going to have sex with some random guy in a bathroom so I went to the doorway and just asked him, point blank, "Are you following me? or am I just crazy?" He just looked at me, didn't say a word. Then next thing I know I am in the stall with him, the door is closed. I guess I should've been thinking about Jessie but...I don't know. I just wanted to kiss this guy. I must have been a lot more drunk than I thought.

The guy actually let me kiss him. Then he got really forceful. He pushed me against the wall and started to kiss down my cheek. He got down to my neck and I pulled him against me. Then all of a sudden, I felt this sharp pain in my neck.

I guess it was about then that I passed out. I don't really remember passing out cause the next thing I knew I was on the nasty floor of this stall and Jessie was above me with a bouncer. They got me onto my feet. I felt amazingly sober all of a sudden. The bouncer asked us to leave.

Jessie got me into the car and drove me home. I was feeling sober but still kind of weak, so immediately when we got home, Jessie put me in bed. I remember him kissing me on the lips before I fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up totally sick to my stomach. I made it to the bathroom just in time to throw up. So much for drinking! While i was huddled on the bathroom floor throwing up into the toilet, Jessie came in and watched over me. It was about that point that I remembered the guy from the bar. I felt horrible. Jessie is such an amazing guy but I couldn't help myself. I don't ever want to drink again.

After throwing up for the first 3 hours of my day, Jessie finally got me into the shower. I started feeling a little better and by the time I stepped out I felt pretty good. I was combing my hair when I saw this weird thing on my neck. It was like a hickie but bigger. I touched it and it was still really tender. I am guessing that was where mystery guy sucked on my neck before I passed out.

I put on a collared shirt to make sure Jessie didn't see it. I figured since it didn't go far I don't really need to mention it to him. Anyways, we aren't dating so I didn't cheat right? (I am really glad I kept this blog secret from friends otherwise I would be screwed.) I do still feel bad about it. I mean Jessie is amazing. I almost feel like I don't deserve him now.

So Sunday went ok until lunchtime. We went out to Roadhouse. They have the best steaks in the world. The freaking cook that day couldnt get my steak rare enough. They probably went through at least 4 steaks before they refused to cook it any rarer. I told them to get a new cook. I guess I was really grumpy from throwing up all day. So lunch sucked but it was fun to just hang out with Jessie.

After lunch, we went to the movies. We had to leave half way through because I started feeling sick again. Maybe a rare steak isnt a good idea after a night of drinking. Ha ha. Jessie got me home and guess what? i was back to throwing up in the toilet all afternoon. About 5pm, Jessie had to leave to start the trek back to Odessa. I managed to pull myself away from the toilet long enough to say goodbye. He kissed me on the cheek when he left. WHY IS HE SO SWEET?

I went to bed that night with absolutely nothing in my stomach. Just couldn't hold anything down, not even water. I couldn't sleep either. I had a horrible headache and my stomach hurt. Just didn't stop hurting so I couldn't sleep. My alarm went off at nine am and I stumbled out of bed and straight to the toilet to throw up.

Threw up for only about 10 minutes so I guess thats an improvement. Guess not having anything in my stomach helped. I finally managed to shower and went to get dressed. I don't know if the throwing up helped with my waistline, but my jeans were really loose today. I had to tighten the belt an extra notch. I guess even binge drinking has its upsides. Ha!

My stomach was still aching and I stepped out of the house to go to work and it hit me. This dizzy feeling and I started getting really hot. I went back in, called my work and said 'no way.' I collapsed back into bed and fell asleep instantly. Didn't actually wake up till about 2 hours ago. I still feel a little nauseous but my fever is gone and the headache is diminished. Hopefully tomorrow I will be up for work. Just hope I can sleep tonight!

So that was my weekend. Started out strong but lost steam at the end. Ha ha. Sorry about the extra long post. Will try to stop combining days so they aren't all this novel length.

-Mike