Tonight is the first night I feel up to writing. After the experience of the other night, I was completely out of sorts. I felt confused about what I had done. On one hand, I felt that I had only done what was natural to me and my new..."state." On the other hand, I also have this lingering sense of guilt. I had taken the life of a human being. I still am not sure what I feel. I do think the fact that he was a criminal did help. If I am going to kill humans for my meals, i might as well get rid of the vermin. But did I have the right to make that judgement call? and for that matter, had the Dark Man been honest when he told me the man was a criminal? I had no idea.
Physically, drinking the blood of that man gave me the greatest sense of strength, power and energy of my life (and death). That was days ago and I haven't had to feed since. Tonight is the first night that I am going out to hunt. Until I figure out my true feelings about taking the blood of humans, I am going to stick to the rabbits.
In other news, money is starting to run dangerously low. I need to find a job or another way to make money at the very least. Christmas is coming up and I haven't even begun the shopping. This doesnt even take into consideration that I need money for rent and bills. And with the whirlwind of the past couple days, I haven't gotten any further in figuring out how to visit my family for the holidays. It's less than a month away!
Writing this entry has just made me exhausted. I am going to go feed and then try to get something done tonight.
-Mike
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